Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What do you really want?

You hear a lot of people say, “I really want ……….
To be rich
To lose weight
To be a better ……..
To have a better relationship with ………
Do they really mean what they say?
One day while playing golf with a friend of mine, I expressed to them my desire to, just like them, be rich, have a nice car and a golf membership at the Doral. All things this person currently had. He looked at me and said, “If you really wanted those things, you would have them, but you don’t really want them. You see me here today, with my car and membership and you think how nice it would be to have them, but you don’t really want to do what’s required to have those things.” Of course I was set back, how could he think that I wouldn’t want to be rich and have all those things. He continued, “I have known you for a short time but you are an extremely talented guy, if you wanted these things, you would have them and more.” He went on to tell me that my life and the things I had, were exactly what I wanted. After a little soul searching, I realized he was 100% right. I had everything I really wanted. Once I realized this, it made the things I didn’t have, easier to accept. From that day forward, every time I get an urge or even a little envious, I ask myself the following:
Do you really want this?
Are you willing to do what’s necessary to get it?
What can you do today to start to achieve it?
As time has passed, I have realized that not all the things I think I want, I want and the ones I do, I work hard for.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Fear of Failure?

People are always talking about the fear of failure. After further review, I think it’s better described as, the fear of rejection. What I mean by this is that our fear to try something, is more driven by the fact that we will be rejected by others, than the fact that we will fail at what it is we are attempting to do.
Take for example, the ring toss at an amusement park. Everyone loves to try this. We throw ring after ring at the top of bottles, hoping that miraculously one will fall in place. Knowing that we will most likely fail, most of us, have little reservations trying this,why? Well, therein lies the answer. The fact that everyone will most likely fail, is accepted and because of this, there is no fear of rejection associated. On the other hand, ask someone to take a shot at a standard basketball hoop, in front of a large group of people and you will see how the fear factor increases. This again, is because of the fact that this task, may be more readily accomplished.
OK, so what’s my point? My point is, if we recognize that the fear of rejection is what drives us, then it is easier to attack the things we fear to do. We know that ultimately we cannot please everyone and that we are all born with different talents and skills, so why not just go for it. We also know that the people who really care about us, care about us regardless of whether we fail or succeed at an individual task. Lastly, we must realize, that our chances of success have a direct correlation with how hard we have worked or practiced. We should only judge our failure or success, using those guidelines.

So the answer to your question is, Go for it! Don’t be hard on yourself if you fail and if you want to succeed, put the work needed into winning.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Farmer's Boys

Two young boys are born on separate farms, to separate fathers. From the day he turned five, the first boy’s father would wake him at 5:00AM and take the boy with him to begin the daily chores around the farm. As he grew, the boy would learn to do everything from milk the cows, to tend to the crops. Between school and his responsibilities on the farm, the boy went to bed exhausted every night. Many of the town people said the father worked the boy too hard and was not allowing him to be a child.
On the other side of town, the second boy had a different lifestyle. His father swore never to make his child work the long, hard hours, he had as a boy. His father would wake every morning, see his son sleeping and smile as he left him to rest. He would work in the fields and tend to the farm all day, while his son played and went to school. The father was happy and felt pride in the life he was giving his son.
As fate would have it, on the boys' eighteenth birthday, their fathers both died

The first boy was devastated. He mourned the death of the man who had taught him everything he knew. He continued to tend to the farm and thought of his father everyday while doing so. His life, although never to be the same, continued on.
The second boy was overwhelmed with life. His father who had done so much for him, was gone. The farm would surely fall into ruin, since he had no idea how to take care of it. After a few weeks, he fell into a state of depression. Although he wanted to honor his father by keeping the farm, he was forced to sell it. How could he face the world alone?

Our children need us to help them learn, not to do everything for them. If you knew you wouldn’t be here for them on their eighteenth birthday, what would you do differently?

Friday, December 26, 2008

Focus your efforts

We always seem to spend so much effort chasing people, who don't necessarily respond to us. As teenagers, we chase the girl/boy who won't give us the time of day and ignore the ones who are dying for our attention. In that example, some might say it's about looks, but think back and you'll see that wasn't always the case. As we get older, the cycle continues with friends, co workers and peers. We want to understand why it is that someone or some group, doesn't accept us the way we are. We can spend our lives trying to change and conform to what we think they want us to be but it never seems to work. We can be frustrated and feel inferior, while we chase the acceptance of these people.

The great thing about life is it's variety: variety of food, flowers, sports, jobs, people, personalities, like and dislikes. We are all different for a reason. Not everyone has to like us and or agree with us. Don't waste your efforts and time, chasing the people that don't accept you for who you are. Open your eyes and look around. There are people chasing you, wanting and needing your approval, your affection. Give to those people. Stop doing for those people who never appreciate your efforts and wondering why they don't. It's not their fault for not being what you want them to be. It's your fault, for trying to change them or you, into something they or you, are not. Life is a lot "happier"and fulfilling when you're doing what you're suppose to do, with the ones you're suppose to be doing it with.

Hint: Your family loves for who you are and accepts you the way you are, even with your crazy karaoke voice.

Thursday, December 25, 2008


This morning I woke up and found all these things underneath my tree:

A house

A job



The best sisters and brothers

A great wife

Great Kids

A great Family

My Health

A GREAT LIFE !!!!!!!

What did you get??????

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Here’s a little acronym I came up with for what the word Give should mean. Gifting /Intentionally /Voiding /Expectations. Too many times I see people give, without letting go of the expectations they have for those gifts. The idea of giving should be that you just give unconditionally. There are two things primarily that are happening, when you G.I.V.E. One, you are performing a truly unselfish act. Two, you are turning over your rights to another person, allowing them to do what they want with that gift. More often, It seems that more tan often, the gifts we give, are given with conditions. Sometimes we are not even aware of the fact that there are conditions attached.
Here’s an example: Imagine you give someone a gift, to find out that an hour after, they re- wrapped it and gave it to someone else. How would you feel? If you G.A.V.E. it to them, it shouldn’t make a difference. What is the part of us that is bothered by this? Is it that we think they didn’t like it? Might we say something like,” I didn’t give it to them so they could just give it away?” To which you might ask, then why did you give it to them? What unknown conditions did you attach to your gift? That person might have forgotten to shop for someone and you gave them something they already had. Because of your gift, they were able to give to someone else. Isn’t that a great gift? It is if your gift is really serving the purpose of giving.
This Christmas think about whether you want to G.I.V.E. or give. You will be happy to know it’s a lot less stressful and much more rewarding to G.I.V.E.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Twas two nights before Christmas

Twas two nights before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, except for my spouse.

The last minute shopping had her pulling her hair,

In hopes that all presents, she needed were there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of shopping kept my wife on her meds.

And mamma in her hurry, while I took a nap,

I settled my brain, while hers started to snap.

When out of my brain there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to realize nothing else mattered.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a wondrous life , for all to revere.

With daily activity, so lively and quick,

A candles light burning, right down to the wick

More rapid than eagles life’s lessons they came,

We complained, and we shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Anger! now, Frustration! now, Depression and Pain!

On, Guilt! On, Anxiety! on, Resentment and Blame!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

"With life’s challenges before us, leave us wondering why

when we meet with an obstacle, we mount to the sky.

So take on life’s challenges, is what we should do,

All of life’s joys, and some sorrows too.

And then, in a twinkling, I found myself proof

all the bad from last year, disappeared in a poof.

As I cleared my head, a thought came with no sound

all good things in my life, were suddenly found.

My life was a great life, from its head to its feet,

And life’s clothes were not perfect but over all pretty neat.

A bundle of Joys life had flung in a sack,

My life was a good life, the more I looked back.

Life’s moments they twinkled! Life’s bumps could get harry!

Life wasn’t all roses, but overall it was merry!

I wasn’t quite sure, where life was planning to go,

But I knew his intentions, were as pure as the snow.

The bumps of this life, were lessons to learn,

Life had no free passes, this is something we’d earn

Life had a broad spectrum, of the good and the bad,

Life kept us all going, through the happy and sad!

Life was always reminding, it could be short like an elf,

A hard lesson remembered, unless affected myself!

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Life gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

Life spoke not a word, but just kept on giving,

And filled all our days, with purpose for living.

Laying me down, with a tweak of my nose,

Life gave me a smile and then he arose!

Life sprang up to say, to us all gave a whistle,

And away we all fly like the down of a thistle.

But I heard life exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-life!"

Monday, December 22, 2008

The reality of the meaning Christmas

Let me first start out by stating that the true meaning of Christmas ( the birth of Christ),has nothing to do with what I am about to write. That being said, what is the reality of what Christmas means to all of us? In other words, what and how will it impact every one of us? While pondering this, I could only come up with one negative. It’s going to cost us a considerable amount of money. In the world of pros vs cons that’s about the only con Christmas has going against it. I know some of you may want to throw in the crowded malls, but that’s like complaining about the casino, when the black jack tables are full. So now that we have the cons out of the way, let’s take a look at the pros. Most of this list of the pros, although not all, should apply to everyone.

We have time off from work and or school.
We spend time with family. (We laugh and tell stories)
We eat whatever we want. (Diets are on hold)
We drink whatever we want. (Some of us a little too much)
We may travel.
We have or go to parties.
We receive presents.
We give presents.
We decorate (I know some might say this could be on the con side)

Regardless of our religious beliefs, we are all affected by Christmas. For most of us, the only negative, will be the whole money issue. To lighten that load, think of it this way, you get what you pay for. Total up everything you will spend this Christmas and then imagine that you were writing a check in that amount, for all the items mentioned above. Just time off alone would be worth it. The most important thing now, is to get your monies worth. Spend every day appreciating your time off at home with your family. Enjoy the process of giving and receiving. Take notice of the change that occurs during the holidays. Not just to the scenery but to people. Don’t let another Christmas go by as just another Christmas. Open your eyes, be aware and make this Christmas, your most memorable.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Change the menu, Change the cliental

Have you ever noticed that the same people seem to always be popping up in our lives? Sometimes it’s physically the same people and other times it’s a different person physically, but the relationship is the same. So what's the explanation? Are these people following us around? The answer is really quite simple, it’s not them, it’s us. We create these relationships without even knowing it. We send out a message to everyone we encounter. The people who are attracted to the message, come to us and the ones who are not, don’t. We start and end all of these relationships the same way, regardless of the person on the other end.
Imagine you want to open a restaurant were all you serve is chicken. The smell of chicken pours out of your restaurant and into the streets. What customers do you think will come? The obvious answer is, people who like, or for whatever reason, need to eat chicken. You wouldn’t stand around wondering why you weren’t attracting customers, who liked burgers or fish, would you? If you wanted to attract a different clientele, you would have to change the menu.
Do you even know what’s on you’re menu? What are you serving daily to the world? Once you identify what you’re serving, is it what you want to be serving? If you want to change the relationships in your life, change the menu. If you don’t change the menu, don’t be surprised when the same people and circumstances keep showing up in your life.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Watch the language In front of the children

Our children are like little sponges. They suck up everything they see us do and say. Particularly, what we say and how we say it. It’s so important to be aware of every word spoken in their presence. Most people will associate this with bad language, but in this case I’m referring to how we verbalize our bad thinking. The bad thinking can get passed down from one generation to the next. One of my favorites is how we describe and talk about work.
Here are some of the typical things we might say in front of them:
“I had a long day at work today.”
“Work is a real *$*%^#$.”
“Some of us have to work for a living.”
“You think I like working?”

Some other indirect ways of describing work negatively:
“Your father has work tomorrow, so we can’t go.”
“I would take you, but I have work.”
“I missed your game because I had to work.”
"Leave me alone while I'm working."

We are all victims of a society where these types of comments to describe what one does for a living, are commonly used. Of course, the next generations will grow up saying the exact same things. Try to catch yourself doing this and stop. Try something different. When asked about your day, describe it for what it really is. Someone has entrusted you to solve problems and perform tasks, because they believe in you and your abilities. That sounds like something to be proud of. Think of this and then respond. My guess is your answer will come out differently. Don’t use work as an excuse for things. Take responsibility for your decisions and don’t blame work. I know plenty of people who have been out to the wee hours of the morning and the fact that they had work the next morning, didn’t deter them. If you can do this, you might end up with children who have a positive attitude, to the very thing that they will spend most of their lives doing.
If you still have your doubts about this one, then ask yourself why the same event can be such a different experience for different people. I have friends who describe going to Disney as torture and others who can't wait to take their families. It's the same event, so whats the difference?
The difference is only in their perception of the event and the story they tell themselves about it.
Watch your language when you describe school, it works the same way.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Balanced Scale

Imagine a scale. On one side are the good things in your life and on the other side, are the things you consider to be bad. After close inspection, you realize that your scale has tilted towards the bad. What do you need to do? The obvious answer would be to add weight to the other side to create balance. In fact, you might want to add all the weight you can and reverse things all together. If you stared at the scale for days, hoping for change to occur on its own, you would only become more frustrated with the situation. I would guess, you might even waste endless hours, wondering how the scale became so unbalanced. After a few days, you would most likely have a complete accounting for the perfect storm that led you to your current situation, accompanied with the list of people that are to blame. Unfortunately, the scale would still look exactly the same, only now, due to your wasted, negative thinking over the last few days, it would be tilted even more towards the bad side.
So how do you fix this it? Take action. Start adding weight to the other side in the form of positive action. Forget about how your scale got out of balance, that’s a waste of time. Don’t look at your neighbors scale for comparison, that’s another waste of time. Most importantly, don’t waste all your energy thinking about how much effort it’s going to take, to do what you need to do. Take action! No matter how little, just do something that can contribute to heading in the right direction and the rest will start to unfold on it’s own. The good things you do, like the bad, are compounding. It’s not easy to start, but if you pay attention, you will see the scale tilting ever so slightly back in the direction you want. Keep in mind, it will take just as much effort to bring the scale back, as it did to get it there. Notice I didn't say, just as much time, that’s because it’s relative to the effort you put into it.
If you pay attention to the results of your efforts, in no time you will notice the compounding effects.

“It’s never hard to do the things we do, it’s just hard getting started”

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

How can you write everyday?

Since the day I started writing my “Daily Dumbbells”, several people have asked me how I could find something to write about every day. They questioned whether or not I could keep up the pace of one a day (with the exception of weekends), for an entire year. I had never really thought about it. Once the thought was put into my head however, I started to do the math and immediately question myself. The answer was really quite simple; Everyday, I would have to find something positive in my life, that I felt I could learn from. I would have to focus my attention not only on myself, but on those around me and their positive experiences with life. Since my writings were to be positive in nature, I would be forced to take the simple everyday occurrences and see them for the gifts they really are. If I could do that, then coming up with things to write about would be easy.
Come to find out, it was this very thing that has made my life better as each day passes. I can’t tell you how many days, I have sat down to write, when I was not feeling particularly positive. I can tell you that I have always felt better after writing.
Find one thing that you consider positive about your life on a daily basis. Force yourself to find it, even when you don’t want to. By doing this daily you will see how the positive things you find, will bring you comfort and lesson the severity of the things you might be focusing on as negative.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Why can't everyone like me?

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but not everyone is going to like you. Sure, you can pretend you don’t care, but deep down, we all do. It doesn’t matter how hard you try or how good you are, there will still be those, that just don’t like you. You can take solace in knowing that some of the greatest people that have ever lived, had people that didn’t like them:

1.Mahatma Gandhi
2.Martin Luther King
3.George Washington
4.Princess Diana
Heck, even the Jonas Brothers!!!!!!

The great ones are focused. Their concern in what they are doing, as opposed to whether or not what they are doing is popular, is what makes them great. They believe so strongly in themselves, that others beliefs cannot deter them from their convictions.
Stay true to yourself and your beliefs. For every person that criticizes what you're doing, there are others out there, applauding your efforts. People and their opinions come and go, but you can never run away from your thoughts and actions. If you accept who you are and concern yourself with what you want to do, you will be one of the great ones.

Even God has those who were and continue to be, against him.

Friday, December 12, 2008

My life's harder than yours is

I find it interesting that when someone tells us that our life is easy, or not as hard as theirs, we feel the need to defend the difficulty of our lives. It’s almost as if though we were programmed to believe, that unless what we are doing is difficult, it’s of little value. Hence, the more difficult our lives, the more value we have. If someone says to you, “You have no idea how tough things are for me, I wish I had your life,” we feel defensive. We feel as though they are saying that we make little or no effort. We would want to immediately say something like, “Yeah, well my life’s no piece of cake either, you only think it is.” We also don’t want the other person to believe that they are somehow doing more and or are able to deal with more difficulty than us. It causes one person to feed off another, in a subconscious duel of proving whose life is more difficult. It creates a mental tug of war between trying to be happy and trying to prove to everyone how hard things are.
Whatever the reason, its CRAZY! I say, "let them win." What’s wrong with just letting go and saying, “Your right, I have a great life and it’s easy. If there’s anything I can do to help you with yours, let me know.” Yeah that’s right you heard me correct, "it’s easy." As you read this, I am sure some of you are saying, “Well it’s not easy,” What makes you say that? It’s as easy as you tell yourself it is.
I am starting a new competition to see who has the easiest life, winner takes the grand prize.
Grand Prize = an Easy life
2nd place = a difficult life
Last place = Pity (sometimes misunderstood to be the Grand Prize)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Eye of the Beholder

Last night was one of the best nights of my life:
1. My oldest daughter called me for my advice and help. Because of her age and independence, she rarely does that anymore. I enjoyed being needed.
2. I was informed that I was getting a new car. That’s exciting because I was getting tired of the one we had.
3. I was able to spend the entire night with my daughter (we told stories and laughed a lot).
4. I was able to spend some time with my wife and kids in a quiet environment and this rarely happens on a school night.
5. My daughter is a healthy, happy and a beautiful person. She is full of life

Last night was one of the worst nights of my life:
1. After a long day at work my daughter called me to inform me that she had crashed the car and needed me to go get her. “I just got home!”
2. When I got there, the car was totaled. “I just paid that car off!”
3. From there it was straight to the emergency room, to wait all night to be seen. "3 hours!"
4. My wife and kids were driving me crazy.
5. It turns out this whole thing is going to end up costing me thousands!

Yes, this is a true story. I took the first of the two paths. Last night turned out to be a great night for me and worth every penny. I am glad that my daughter was able to learn a valuable lesson, at such a small price. I was in good spirits throughout the night. Before going to bed, I thanked God for taking care of her and I slept like a baby. In the past, I would have chosen the second path and my week would have been miserable. I would have spun out of control taking every one around me with me. I would have made mental list of all the reasons why this was bad and unfair.

Life is in the eye of the beholder. Make sure when you look at it, you behold it’s gifts.

I love you Elle and your worth all the Expeditions on the planet.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Keep your eye on the Ball

Anyone who has ever played sports knows that one of the keys to success is keeping your eye on the ball. In baseball it can refer to hitting as well as catching. In soccer it’s just as important while kicking, as when receiving a pass. In football, you see receivers dropping easy passes because they look up field before completing the catch. Tennis, Golf, Polo, it really doesn’t matter the sport, if your eyes are distracted from the ball; your chance of success diminishes. In all the above, many different things can cause you to be distracted. Noise from the crowd, an oncoming tackler, getting ahead of yourself, or your peripheral vision, can all draw your focus away from that simple task, of keeping your eye on the ball.

What about in life? What’s the ball? The ball can represent many stages of our lives but on the grand scale, isn’t living, the ultimate ball? Isn’t what you’re doing at this very moment living? Do we take our eyes off the ball to look up field? Do we miss the ball when we do that? Are we distracted by the crowd? Do we freeze when we see the oncoming tackler? What do we see in our peripheral vision and can you see it clearly enough to identify it?
Stay focused; keep your eye on the ball, it is the key to living. Remember, if you take your eye off the ball (living), you will miss it all together.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

You make a difference

You do make a difference in people’s lives. You may not realize it, but each one of us has that power. It can be as simple as the way we greet one another, to as complicated as the advice we may give. Most of the time, you won’t have the benefit of knowing how you might have influenced someone, but you can bet that you do have the power to influence. “With great power comes great responsibility.” You don’t have to be a superhero for this to apply. Be careful with every word you say. Take responsibility of your actions. What you say and do, impacts everyone around you. Don’t believe me, than prove it to yourself by trying this exercise.
1. First three People: I want you to speak to them in a disgusted voice. Make sure everything that comes out of your mouth is negative and has a nasty tone to it. From the second you say hello, I want them to feel the disgust in your voice. If you are talking to them in person, I want your body language and facial expressions to show the same feelings that are coming out of your mouth.
a. Take notice in the reactions of the people you are speaking with. Notice their expressions prior to hearing you say your first words and as the conversation carries on. Realize that everything you’re saying to them is infecting them like a virus. Watch how their body language changes. By the time you finish with them, or they finish with you, realize the power of your influence.
i. (Notice the influence you have on yourself)
2. Next three People: I want you to speak to them as if though you had just won the lotto. Greet them with a huge smile and a loud voice. Tell them how happy you are, and how great they look. Talk to them about how great life is and how you’re so excited about the prospects of the New Year. Your body language and facial expressions should scream out, “I love my life.”
a. Notice how once again, the person changes throughout the conversation.
i. (Notice the influence you have on yourself)
This exercise, is a simple way to see how we each can influence one another. This kind of influence is just the tip of the iceberg. Our influence on one another is much more profound than the example above. Don’t underestimate the importance of what you say, or do to others. The next time you find yourself wondering whether anyone really notices or cares, rest assured we all notice and we all care.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Fake it until you make it

Sometimes, it’s just not easy to stay on the positive side of things. Sometimes you want to give up, thrown in the towel and be darn right negative. The more negative you’re thinking, the more negative you become. The only way you can get out of this downward spiral is to fake it, until you make it. Even if you don’t want to think positive, you have to. Even if you don’t necessarily believe in what you’re saying, pretend you do. Perception becomes reality. No one ever said it would be easy, but I can guarantee that it will be a lot easier than the results of continuing to be negative. Eventually, you will be positive again, that’s unless you plan on spending the rest of your life being miserable. Focus on the things that are going right in your life and get back on the right track.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Save the best for last, not forever

I was speaking with someone who had a book written and wanted to see if they could get it published. After many conversations and countless nights of proof reading, he felt it was ready. We determined that he should send it off to publishers to see what their response would be. The following week I asked him how many copies he had sent out and his answers were filled with excuses. After several weeks of prodding, I figured out the real problem. As long as he didn’t send it out, he would be safe from rejection. He could control the fear of failure by never trying. He would always be able to tell people about the great book he wrote. He would say, “I never sent it out to a publisher but I bet it would have been a best seller,” Many of us protect ourselves from the fear of failure at the cost of success. Save the best for last, but not forever.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Daily Dumbbells

Why the name “Daily Dumbbells?” About six months ago, I noticed my body changing and realized that it was time to go back to the gym. For me, this kind of a commitment would require going to the gym at least four times a week, for an hour a day. If I wanted to get into good shape and see immediate results, that’s what it was going to take. Unfortunately, I didn’t have this kind of time to dedicate to the gym, so I was forced to come up with an alternate plan. I decided to start doing pushups every morning. The idea was, that I would at least maintain some strength and hopefully build a little, as I increased my reps. It worked, I have continued to add reps and my strength has improved. My core is stronger than ever and the change although not drastic, is happening.
Your mental health works the same way. You need to work it out. Go to the gym, so to speak. If you wanted to fully commit, you would take courses, do some reading, meditate, etc… Doing those things would be a full commitment, the equivalent of going to the gym. You would see immediate results. Most of us don’t have this kind of time. I write my daily dumbbells for the same reason I doing my morning pushups. I write them daily to improve my mental well being. I hope that by reading them daily, it helps others do the same. It's obvious to everyone, that if you don’t work out your muscles, they will get smaller and weaker. So shouldn't it be obvious that if you don’t work out your mental muscle, the same will happen?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's all about you

“It’s all about you.”Most people hear this and immediately associate this way of thinking with being selfish. Somehow it means you’re not a caring person. Of course the reality is, that it has to be all about you. The foundation of everything that exists is you the individual. If you don’t exist, then nothing else does either, at least not to you. Right now as you read this, there are families all over the world waking up to do what they feel is the most important things in their lives and you don’t care one little bit about them. That’s the truth. The reason you don’t care isn’t any more complicated than the fact that it’s all about you. Since “you” are unaware of those families and they have no affect on “you “, “you” don’t care. Now if I told you, that a family in Japan selected you to inherit their millions, I guarantee that you would suddenly have great interest in them.
Ok, so what’s my point? Too many of us spend wasted time, pretending that this is not the truth. We fool ourselves into believing that we are such unselfish and giving people, when in reality this is not the complete truth. It’s not to say that we do not care about others and make sacrifices to help and or care for others. It is however important to recognize our true intentions, because it allows us to take responsibility of our actions. We do the things we do, because we want to do them. When we take responsibility we can change. When we assign blame we have to wait for others to change. When we say, “I did all this for that person and they……..,” we fool ourselves into believing that we played no part in what occurred. Take responsibility in what you do and say. Don’t spend your life blaming others and waiting for them to change. It’s ok to realize that it is all about you, at least to you it is.

If a tree falls in a forest does it make a sound.
If “you” hear it, it does.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

When in Rome

The saying goes, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." I think, I prefer to stay away from Rome.
When we are around people who like the same things we like, we feel good about ourselves. When we are doing the things we like to do, which typically we excel at, we feel good about who we are. In sharp contrast, when we are around a group of people who have different interest, we will question our own. It can and inevitably will, create doubt in our own beliefs. It's why the whole,"peer pressure" thing, works. A group of people telling you that what you are, or are not doing is wrong, can shake the very foundation of who you are. My solution, "When in Rome, RUN!!!!!!!!!" Or just stay away from foreign countries, they're overrated anyways.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Understanding Our Limitations

If you know how to play the piano, do you get mad at someone who can’t? If you are strong enough to take the lid off of a jar, do you get mad at someone, because they can’t? The answer to both of these should be a resounding, “no.” In fact, I would guess that in some cases maybe we feel a sense of pride that we are able to doing something that someone else cannot. Why then, do we get so upset at other limitations that people may have? Why can’t we understand that they just may not be capable of doing the things we are able to do and in turn, want them to do? Why can’t we understand that what comes so easily to us may not come to them at all? As in the example with the piano, they were never taught and therefore have no idea how to begin to play. In the example of the jar, there may be physical or mental limitations. Take pride in the abilities that you have been given. Don’t be so hard on others and their limitations. Understand that you yourself have limitations which you would not like to be judged on. Our expectations should come with the understanding of limitations and when they do; our relationships are more fulfilling.

Friday, November 28, 2008

The Tomorrow Diet

Ok, raise your hand if your going on a diet on Monday and this time, you mean it. Don't wait until Monday, start today. Start right now. I know it sounds scary but it doesn't have to be. I am not suggesting you have to be on a perfect diet starting today. Instead, I only suggest that you make a concious effort to limit the amount of food you take in. Or maybe go for a walk that you normally wouldn't have taken. It seems as though everyone always has to take the whole diet thing to an extreme and since the extreme is so drastic and scary, no one ever starts. Everyone is on the tomorrow diet and as we all know, tomorrow never comes. When you talk about your diet, talk about the present not the future. Don't say I am going on a diet starting Monday, say I am on a diet and I am adding limitations as I move forward. Empower yourself. Get the ball (however big that ball may be) rolling and live in the present. Believe it or not, you are dieting as you read this, you just don't know it.
"Diet" although a four letter word, doesn't have to be associated with something negative. Change the way you think and see the word for what it really means. Diet, by definition is "1 a: food and drink regularly provided or consumed." On the other hand, "1 a: to perish from lack of food b: to suffer extreme hunger," is the definition of starving. Don't get the two confused.

If all else fails just remember:

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Come to your senses

Your senses are all very powerful and hardwired to your brain but the sense of smell, is very unique. For the most part, the way something smells, tends to be more permanent, than the way something looks. You may for example, have gone to many different schools in your lifetime but a classroom always smells like a classroom. For that reason, when you find a familiar smell, it has the unique ability to transport you to the past. It can be a bad smell as well as a good smell but for today, I want to stick with the good ones. With today being Thanksgiving, our work load should be pretty limited. With the exception of preparing the "Big Meal," it should be a pretty relaxing day. So I ask as you read the list of items below, that you pause after each one, close your eyes and immerse yourself into what is being described. They may not all apply to you but I am sure you will find at least one.

1. The smell of the top of your desk at school (if this one is really clear it indicates how often you slept in class)
2. Text books from school (this is assuming that you opened them)
3. The erasers for the chalkboard (this might also indicate your classroom behavior)
4. A field, for any athletic event. (Early in the morning when you were just getting to the field)
5. A church pew (prior to licking it)
6. A baseball glove you had as a kid( as you buried your face in it)
8. Your bed as a kid (the G.I Joe sheets with matching comforter)
9. The seats or dashboard, in the family car. (Some of us slept on the back dashboard)
10. Fireworks (Not including any singed hairs)
11. Swing set
12. A roller skating rink
13. An ice skating rink
14. A bowling alley
15. Disney
16. A new book
17. The smell of your first car
18. Your first cologne or perfume
19. Your grandmothers house
20. Your dog
Your Cat
Your best friend 's house
Your mom
Your dad

Think of your own. There are many others that can bring smiles to our faces and take us back to the memorable times in our lives. After you have thought of your own, take a deep breath and make sure you take the time to smell today. Smell the turkey. Smell the house you celebrate in. Smell the people around you and the cold or warmth in the air. Most of all smell tomorrow's memories because they are happening today.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

When I grow up, I want to be

What is it that makes us want to be a particular thing? Is it something we grew up with and experienced as a positive? Is it what our parents exposed us to ? Are we just trying to make them proud of us, based on their criteria? Maybe we are driven by financial gains and the lure of happiness through wealth. Most of the time, whatever "it" is , does not seem to be so clear. Some of us will spend all of our lives waiting for that magical moment when we wake up and suddenly know exactly what "it" is . Unfortunately, that day never comes. Between financial, parental and society's pressures, we are unable to clearly see what it is that we want for ourselves. We spend our lives in a tug of war between what we seek as individuals and what the rest of the world tells us we should be. Don't spend the rest of your life waiting for divine intervention. Take a chance, let your freak flag fly, and who knows, you might even end up doing what you want to do, rather than what everyone else wants you to do.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Dare to Differ (Poem)

Dare to differ in the way, we raise our kids today
To lead and not to follow, for this is what we say

Dare to take the time to teach and give them loves instruction
For if you do, prevent for them, a strangers hate corruption

Dare to be the "different parent", who knows what's "right from wrong"
This will live inside them, when your time has come and gone

Dare to listen to what you say and practice what you preach
For if one does not show to class, then never dare to teach

Dare to show all the love you have for them, this will take some sacrifices
And as they grow, their love for you, will keep them from life's vices

Dare to be unselfish, let them grow and sprout their wings
A parent’s love is unconditional, although one tends to cling

Dare to speak to other parents, and pass this message down
It’s up to us the "different" ones , the few still left around

Monday, November 24, 2008

On Time

I know that everyone has their issues regarding being punctual. Some of us consider this to be very important, while others may not consider it to be so important. Well here's a thought. It is impossible to be on time to anything. On time would mean if arriving at that particular minute. You can be late or you can be early, but it is highly unlikely that you will arrive perfectly on time. If you are one who cares about your punctuality, I would suggest you try to arrive fifteen minutes early. Planning for an early arrival will accommodate for the unexpected and be much less stressful. My experience has always been that the stress created while trying to arrive on time, can ruin the event you have worked so hard to get to. If you want to have a good time, eliminate potential road rage and cause less strain on your relationships, take what you consider to be on time, subtract 15min and re adjust. In the long run you will be much happier and so will everyone around you.

Friday, November 21, 2008


“Thank God it’s Friday”! How come no one says, “thank God its 3:00AM” or, “thank God it’s the 24th”. The answer for most is obvious. Friday is the last day of the work week. Friday represents the beginning of the weekend. Two days off from the everyday hustle and bustle of work. Everyone says it and society reinforces it. What if everyday could give you that same feeling that Friday does? What if I told you that having a job and going to work was a vital part of your self-worth? What if I suggested that always sitting at home and doing nothing would do nothing more than create depression and make you socially deficient, creating a lack of self worth. Think it through and build a case for everyday to be as great as Friday. Mondays could be great for any of the following reasons, depending on who you are:
1. Maybe your favorite TV show is that night
2. Maybe you go out to lunch with your peers
3. Maybe you just want a change of environment after being at home Sat and Sunday
4. Maybe it gives you a chance to talk to your peers about the big game
5. Maybe the kids go back to school during the day and you get a break
6. Maybe there’s a hotty in your chemistry class. (no I don’t take chemistry)
There are many good things that happen, everyday of the week. Perception becomes reality and the more we tell ourselves that one day is a bad day and another is a good day, the more it becomes reality. Every day is different and for that reason alone, they are all good days. Forget about, “thank God it’s Friday” and try, “thank God it’s my day.” If you live your life waiting for Friday, it will come and go every week, taking you for an emotional rollercoaster. If you live your life for “my day” it will last forever.

For those of you who live for Friday, it’s here, so enjoy and make the most of it because your current bad to good day ratio is 2(Fri, Sat) out of 7(Sun thru Thurs)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Who's your daddy?

We teach our children and once they learn something, we push them to learn more. While learning new things, they stumble and we are always there to support them. We don’t allow them to quit. We let them know they can do anything. We know this is what is best for them. If they have mastered one thing, we push them on to something more difficult.

1. If they excel at school, we put them in advanced courses or even have them skip a grade.
2. If they excel in sports we move them up in skill level or even age group.
As parents, we always push our children because we love them and never want them to stop challenging themselves.
If God is our father, why would he treat us any different? He is the ultimate parent and therefore will always challenge us, just as we challenge our children. He wants us to grow and to reach our full potential. When you feel that things are going smoothly and you have it all figured out, prepare yourself for the next challenge that God will send your way.

If idle time is the devil’s tool, then it would be safe to say that busy time is God's.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Listen to Yourself

I notice that we talk to ourselves a lot but we don’t listen to what we say as much as we listen to how what we say, makes us feel. We might, in a moment of desperation say,” Nobody is ever going to do this for me; I am going to have to do it myself!” When we say this, we tend to focus more on how this makes us feel, as opposed to the truth in what we say. In this case, we may spend days in desperation and to a certain degree self pity, without any results. If we were to say the same thing focusing on what we say rather than how it makes us feel, it would produce results and in turn make us feel good.
I recently was speaking with someone who was upset about their relationship with a friend. They made a long list of reasons as to why they felt their friend was indeed, not their friend. Much of what they said started with, “If she was really my friend she would have ………” I let the person go on for a while so that they could let out their frustrations and as they came up for air I said, “ It sounds like you have it all figured out, you just have to listen to what you’re saying and stop focusing on the way it makes you feel.” They looked at me a little funny and I said, “You have been saying it all along, she’s not really your friend.” It’s not to say that every time we feel disappointed with a friendship or situation we should consider it over but in this case she had had many years of feeling this way.
We need to take a look at whether we are constantly trying to change the situation and or people to be what we want them to be. If we are, then we need to let our words guide us rather than our emotions. We hold the answers within us and if we just listen, we will experience greater success and fulfillment in doing so.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Hardest job in the world

We prepare our children for their future careers from the day that they are born. We start them off with puzzles and simple memorization games. Later we read them books. As they grow we try to send them to the best schools. We focus on their grades and prepare them for college. Hopefully, by the time they enter college they are prepared and have an idea as to what career they want. Whatever profession they may choose, it will require a minimum of four years of intense studying to gather the knowledge needed. Usually, the more difficult the career, the more years of learning it will require.
With that being said, I think we can all agree that the most difficult job in the world is being a parent. The job never ends and the description is constantly changing. So why is it that we would assume that there is no schooling required? Why would a job so difficult, come “naturally”? I would suggest, that the only schooling we received for this difficult job, came from our own parents who themselves had no formal schooling regarding the subject. Would you walk into surgery and perform open heart surgery on someone, based on your years of watching Grey’s Anatomy? Are we raising our children based on years of what we have seen or experienced? What formal schooling have we received? We are responsible for molding our children into whom they become. They watch us and learn from us. I realize that none of us are perfect and we all have our own style of parenting, but if we all want to do the best we can do, it will take a lot of hard work and dedication. Buy some books, read magazines, take some courses, do whatever it takes. You have the hardest job in the world, the more you know, the easier it will be. If we take the time to prepare ourselves the same way we prepare our kids for college, we will have a solid foundation and the best chance at being the best parents we can be.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Letting go

Why is it so hard to let go of things? Throughout the stages of our lives, we identify ourselves by the things that we do, rather than who we really are. During our lives we could mistakenly become attached to and identify ourselves as:
A soccer player
A ballet dancer
A senior in high school
A mom
A lawyer
A dad
We will inevitably attach some, if not all, of our self-worth to how well we may or may not do these things. We shouldn't define who we are, based on the things that we do.
An elephant playing soccer is not a soccer player, he’s an elephant. He can only be an elephant. He can play soccer well, or he can play soccer poorly, but how he plays, will never define him as an elephant. We all have something inside that defines us. It tells us what we know to be right and what we know to be wrong. It lets us know when we could be doing more. It’s what makes us feel pride. It's our conscious, our compass, it’s what guides us. Everyone has their own unique compass that will only work for them. Close your mind to what others may think or do and follow your own compass. If you don't, you might spend your life as a soccer playing elephant.

Friday, November 14, 2008

What is Bad?

What is good versus what is bad can only be defined by how we think we will be individually and ultimately affected by what is happening. If we really looked in depth, we would realize that what is bad, is created in our own minds. The only way we could possibly determine whether something is bad would be if we could foresee the end results. A very simple example can be illustrated through sports. When the Miami Heat won the NBA Championship, it was a good thing and people were happy. However if you lived in Dallas and were rooting for the Mavericks, it was a bad thing and people were upset. Oh yeah, and if you lived in Kansas you probably didn’t care either way. Based on how each group thought they would be affected, they determined whether the event was a “good thing” or a “bad thing.”
So how can one event be a good thing, a bad thing, or “no thing” all at once? The answer is that it can’t. It is just an event, neither good nor bad, just an event. That example is simple but powerful because so many people can have their entire mood change and their lives affected from the results of one sporting event. Life is too important and short to be affected by something so trivial.
Here’s a more powerful example. My dad died when I was thirteen and that was a bad thing that happened to me and my family. Or was it? Originally I perceived this to be the most horrific thing that could have happened to me. I spent many nights asking God why he would do this to me. It is only now that I realize that with my father’s death, many great things have happened in my life. My wife, my children and the way I look at life, are all direct results of his death. In short, I am who I am today, because of his death, not inspite of it. I am not suggesting that everything that happens will feel good. I am only suggesting that if you look back at your life, many of the things that you thought to be so horrible at the time, turned out to be good things. In the end when we look back with the benefit of knowing the conclusion, everything will be good.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”

Thursday, November 13, 2008

We tell our children

We tell our children:

“Always give 100% to everything that you do.”
“Have confidence in yourself.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“Don’t settle for just anyone, wait for the right person.”
“You deserve better.”
“Pick your friends wisely.”
“Don’t worry about what other people think.”
“Don’t be a follower, be a leader.”
“Life isn’t always about having fun.”
“If you want something bad enough, I know you will get it.”

The question is, what do we tell ourselves?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I Can't

I currently coach a soccer team. During one of my practices, I asked my players to shoot with their left foot. Almost all of the players immediately responded, "I can’t." Not one of them said anything similar to, "I haven’t practiced that enough to do it correctly." After attempting to shoot lefty, they came back with, “We told you we couldn’t.” It was at this point that I stopped practice, gathered them all together, and asked "How many girls here can fly a plane?" Interestingly enough, here were their responses:

1. “If I took flying lessons I could.”
2. “I am not old enough.”
3. “If someone taught me.”

Not one girl, of the 13 at practice said, “I can’t.” Why would they believe that flying a plane is easier than kicking a ball with their left foot? Of course, they don’t believe that. They just prefer, like the rest of us, to do what comes easy, in this case, using their right foot. I am sure that all of them are perfectly capable of learning to use their left foot. I am also sure, that very few are willing to put forward the effort required, to learn to do so. Why? Learning to fly a plane may take time to learn but the girls are able to see the benefits that will be achieved and therefore respond the way they did. Since the benefits of learning to kick left footed are not so clear to them, the effort is too great and therefore they respond with, "I can’t."
Isn’t it curious that when we say we can’t do something it usually refers to something that we can do, but requires a lot of practice and effort? We don’t say, “I really feel that the results of learning to do this would require much more time and effort than I am willing to put into it.” Or how about simply saying, “I won’t?” This may sound strong, but the reality is that we need to speak honestly to ourselves to be able to overcome the challenges that we face in our lives. When we tell ourselves that we can’t do something, we are in essence, lying to ourselves and therefore not able to reach our full potential. Take responsibility for your decisions regarding what you chose to do or not do (not can or can’t do). Focus on the things you really want for yourself and as they say, “You can do anything.”

Since that day of practice, no girl on my team ever says to me that they can’t do something, without hearing me say,”Oh, but you can fly a plane?” They get it after that.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

With action there is hope

Someone was recently expressing to me their frustrations regarding the amount of things they had to do. They started with a few key things that needed to be done at home and as they continued talking the list kept growing. The key issues first discussed had faded and been replaced with the everyday responsibilities that we all bear. His tone had changed as well and he became increasingly agitated. I could sense some anger and desperation as he continued to add more items. There reached a point where it felt as if though the more items he added, the more he had the right to feel despair. As if that weren’t enough, he now rolled into his responsibilities at work. By the time he had gone through all of what was awaiting him, he had worked himself into a sense of hopelessness.
We all do this. We start off feeling a little overwhelmed with a few key things that we feel need to be done and then we pack on a to do list that would stifle the best of us. In the end, we are angry, resentful, frustrated, and exhausted at the very thought of starting any of it. As long as we live, the list of things that need to be done will always there. At any time, we can decide to access that list and create the same feelings of frustration and panic. Oddly enough, the list seems manageable until we decide differently, something changes. Typically, fear arrives, unknowingly accesses our files of things to do and opens it like Pandora’s Box. In this case, it was the fear of failure. He was recently given a new department to run at work. This was the real catalyst of his feelings, what opened his Pandora’s Box. What if he gave it his all and it didn’t work? This triggered everything that followed. If he could prove to himself that there was no possible way he could give it his all, then he would somehow protect himself from that fear of failing. With action there is hope, without action their can only be despair and later remorse. Close the file of things to do, go back to the key item that started it all and attack it. You will overcome life’s obstacles, just as you always have, and most importantly, you will learn to conquer your fears.

Picture yourself with the tremendous task of building a pyramid alone. All the stones are to one side of you. While you sit doing nothing, you build a case of despair in your mind. The very thought of it frustrates and tires you. Now picture yourself standing up, going to the first stone and eventually putting it in place. However difficult the task may be, you have now created hope.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Chocolate Leche

My brother follows the same routine every morning with his 2yr old son. He enters his son’s room, lifts his son up out of bed and holds him in his arms, allowing his son to lay his head on his shoulder. My brother then quietly walks down the hall and heads towards the kitchen. Entering the kitchen he turns the lights on and gently places his son on the floor, letting his son get his balance and bear the full weight of his body on his tiny feet. His son begins to pout and show his discontent, however once he notices that his father has reached into the cabinet for his bottle, he is immediately comforted. My brother takes out the bottle and places it on the kitchen counter. He then walks to the refrigerator, opens it and takes out the milk (leche). Returning back to the bottle he fills it with milk. At this point his son’s eyes are gleaming with anticipation. This is immediately replaced with a look of panic when his father turns away from the bottle and walks to the other side of the kitchen. My brother opens the cabinet door and pulls out a container of chocolate “Quick”. Once again he returns back to the bottle, places two teaspoons of Quick inside, screws the top on the bottle and shakes it. It’s at this point that his son begins tugging on his leg chanting, “leche,leche!!” Unfortunately for him, my brother then takes the bottle and walks right past his son placing it in the microwave. His son begins to cry desperately, ”leche papa leche!” Once the leche has warmed, my brother removes it from the microwave, gives it onc last shake and places it in the waiting hands of my nephew. The leche is just the way his son wanted it, chocolatey and warm. If his father would have listened to his pleas for leche any earlier it wouldn’t have been right. His father knows the steps that must be taken to give his son what he wants and needs. His son will learn to have faith in his father and patience in his methods. God is our Father, have faith in him and his methods. In the end we will all enjoy a nice, warm, chocolate, bottle of leche.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Something Nice To Say

My father always taught me, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Since every generation should improve on the one before, I now have improved this by saying, “If you don’t have something nice to say, find something nice to say.” People for some reason love to point out the obvious and what they point out doesn’t always tend to be the positive. There are many examples but here’s just one that comes to mind. One couple tells another that they are expecting a new baby. Some of the typical things you might hear in response would be any of the following:
1. “Another one?” (Congratulations, you can add.)
2. “Did you plan this?” (If they didn’t, do you think they need a reminder?)
3. “How are you guys going to afford this?” ( Financial stress is the #1 reason for divorces, good job.)
4. "I hope it’s a boy, so you guys can finally stop.” (What if they don’t care or if they do, and it’s not?)
Do people really believe that the expecting couple hasn’t already taken all of these things and more into consideration? Maybe even spent sleepless nights worrying about it? Do they think that this is somehow helping them? Is this what they would want to hear?
Another example might be the addition of a new puppy. People will make their comments:
1. “Better you than me”. (That's nice.)
2. “You’re going to keep it outside, right?” (What if they're not?)
3. “Doesn’t that breed shed a lot?” (What if it does?)
People don’t want to second guess their decisions once they are already made. People want support and enthusiasm from the people they care about, that’s why they tell us. So the next time someone comes up to you and tells you about their new puppy or about the new baby, try finding something nice to say. “A puppy sounds like a lot of fun and that breed will suit you perfectly. “ Or, “Babies are great, I love the way an infant stares at you when you rock them in your arms.” I know these types of comments will make you feel better as a person but most importantly, it will bring some comfort to those who receive them.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Thanks for Being Different

A good friend of mine was expressing his frustration to me about how his wife was so different than him. The beginning of the conversation started with the typical marital complaints, one's the organizer, one's not and so on. By the end of 15 minutes it had deteriorated to, " If I say the sky is blue, she will say light blue, with a shade of pink." Of course that part was said with a girly voice and the distorted face. So I asked him to imagine that everything that he said and did would be agreed with by his wife. Of course this comment was recieved with a cynical smile. I pressed on, " Imagine that everything you and her thought about was the same. Then imagine that everyone in the world shared all your same thoughts and beliefs. What kind of a world might that be? Everyone would take the same short cuts to work and they would no longer be short cuts. Everyone would compete for the same jobs, with the same qualifications. The shows on TV would be few since the demand would be exactly the same. What kind of a world would you have? What kind of a marriage would you have? Welcome your wife's differences", I suggested. "Take the opportunity to realize we need other perspectives so that we can grow and so that life can be exciting."

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Lotto Winner

Too many times I hear people say, " If I could just win the Lotto everything would be different." Of course I can understand the financial freedom however temporary, that might come from such an event but how would this make someone change their feelings towards themselves? What would they be so proud of ? That they were able to pick random numbers. Give a monkey some darts and he can do the same. Once we bought everything we think we needed and gave to those who we thought were deserving, then what? Would we feel pride, or perhaps some sense of fulfillment? We should take pride in the fact that we make it through our lives without winning the Lotto. We provide for our families and give to others when it is not so easy to do so. When times are difficult we have the perseverance to continue forward. Giving what comes without sacrifice and what you have in great abundance is easy. Giving what we have worked hard for and is scarce, is what will be appreciated the most and fulfill us in the end.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Yourself Inc.

How many employers have we had in our life time? How many might we work for in the future? The answer is quite simple, "One". The only company you have ever worked for and will ever work for, is "Yourself". Today you might find yourself feeling overburdened with your work and its importance however what was important last year has faded and no longer consumes your thoughts. There is however one thing that always remains constant. That one thing is you and your ability to grow and acquire new skills. You see, the one corporation you can never quit and or be fired from is you . Never lose sight of your company and what needs to be done to improve it. Focus on the strengths that got you here and continue to build on them. If you put all your focus on "Yourself" it won't matter whether you're a housewife,profesional or entreprenuer, at the end of the day, you will have built up the most important company in YOURSELF INC.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Alone Time

How many times in a day do we find ourselves searching for some alone time? " I just want to be left alone for one hour", we might say. Some time to gather our thoughts, enjoy the silence, or just do what we want to do. Every morning on my way to work, I am given that very opportunity during my one hour commute. I can choose to become frustrated with the stop and go of traffic. I can worry about what lies ahead that day, or I can welcome the alone time, enjoy the silence and think what I want to think. Once the work day has wrapped up and before I get home, I am given the same opportunity again on my way home. So instead of complaining about the amount of traffic make sure to stop and welcome the time alone.