Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Fear of Failure?


People are always talking about the fear of failure. After further review, I think it’s better described as, the fear of rejection. What I mean by this is that our fear to try something, is more driven by the fact that we will be rejected by others, than the fact that we will fail at what it is we are attempting to do.
Take for example, the ring toss at an amusement park. Everyone loves to try this. We throw ring after ring at the top of bottles, hoping that miraculously one will fall in place. Knowing that we will most likely fail, most of us, have little reservations trying this,why? Well, therein lies the answer. The fact that everyone will most likely fail, is accepted and because of this, there is no fear of rejection associated. On the other hand, ask someone to take a shot at a standard basketball hoop, in front of a large group of people and you will see how the fear factor increases. This again, is because of the fact that this task, may be more readily accomplished.
OK, so what’s my point? My point is, if we recognize that the fear of rejection is what drives us, then it is easier to attack the things we fear to do. We know that ultimately we cannot please everyone and that we are all born with different talents and skills, so why not just go for it. We also know that the people who really care about us, care about us regardless of whether we fail or succeed at an individual task. Lastly, we must realize, that our chances of success have a direct correlation with how hard we have worked or practiced. We should only judge our failure or success, using those guidelines.

So the answer to your question is, Go for it! Don’t be hard on yourself if you fail and if you want to succeed, put the work needed into winning.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've always grown the most when I tackle something I fear. tia t

Alex said...

Yeah, i thnik it's the most rewarding also.

Mary L. said...

For me it's more the "fear of the unkhown / fear of change" that has stopped me in the past.

Alex said...

How do you fear something unknown? You must mean the fear of leaving the known.

Anonymous said...

I get a lot of moms that fear their children with autism leaving Elementary School to go on to The BIG Middle School! Fearing the unknown. Keeping their children back is the safe thing to do, but moving them on allows them to grow because everyone around them has grown. Change can be a scary thing even when people switch jobs but they always seem to like the new job much better than the old job. They grow and expand themselves. It's all good. Nine times out of ten they make more money too! tia t

Alex said...

Tia T.
As you know, I will be changing jobs soon,so from your mouth to God's ears on the more money thing.