Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
So when I ask myself what caused me to lose it, the overwhelming answer is fear. You tell yourself a story as to what will happen if these things unfold and then fear ingulfs your thoughts as it builds its home in your mind. In reality, we may think we have an idea as to what may happen but we don’t really know. It is this build up of internal fear that explodes out of us. We scream, kick, fight, insult and do anything humanly possible to change what we built up to be something that will impact our lives negatively. In the end, many of the very things we were so afraid of and fought so hard for them not to happen, are the best things in our lives.
I wish I could lose my temper and never find it again. It only hurts me and stops me from growing. I wish I could lose my fears and have complete faith in the fact that everything happens for a reason. I wish I could lose the part of me that judges others and forgets to appreciate the things I take for granted. I wish I was a better, dad, brother, friend, husband, person. I know that If I trust and have faith, I can “find” that better person inside of me and it will grow, just as I know that if I allow fear to guide my thoughts, my temper will find me again.
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/7960956/21085003 Amazing Little Girl (Listen)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
A person who lives to be 80 years old will sleep 233,600 hours / 9,733 days or 33 percent of their life.
For a 75 year old person with average tendencies, he/she will spend 3,650 hours on the toilet over the course of a lifetime.
The average person will spend an estimated 20,160 min kissing in their lifetime. (If your Latin you may half to double that)
A Child in the US will spend an average of 900 hours a year in school.
Women will spend 5 1/2 years on the phone in an average lifetime
The average person will spend 6 years and ten months eating in his or her 70 year life time.
The average person will spend 9 years watching TV in their lifetime
According to US dept. of Labor people in the US spend at least 1896 hours per year at work. That’s 89,112 in a life time (18-65). 3,713 DAYS
When we look at all of these statistics from a lifetime view, we are amazed at how many minutes, hours or days, we will actually spend doing things. We don’t really realize the enormity of what lies ahead of us. It is for this very reason that we are told to live our lives, “one day at a time.” When we tell ourselves all the things we have to do (on a given day) it is like reading to yourself all the statistics that are written above. We overwhelm ourselves. It’s torture as we reminding ourselves of every last thing that we need to do and how hard these things will be. Of course doing this only makes it harder. As our chest tighten and our level of anxiety grows, we find it difficult to start the very first of the things we need to do. We need to live our lives one minute at a time. We should face what is right in front of us and do it the best we can at that moment. The only way we can truly be at our best is if we are living in that moment, rather than worrying about what is coming next. Most of the time what we think will happen and how it will happen, rarely occurs. I realize we all need to plan and that part of planning is looking forward but once the planning is done, focus on each task as it arrives. We will feel good that whatever we were able to complete that day, was done to the best of our ability. At the end of the day, what was done was done, tomorrow will be another day. Remember, life will go on without you, but you can’t go without life. Don’t just go through the motions of life, live every moment of your life. One last stat, we spend approx 80 hours of our lifetime tying our shoes.
Monday, July 26, 2010
As you all know, it is much harder to learn to do something at an older age but it can be done. How did you learn your life skills? Are they bringing you success and happiness? What can you do to teach yourself better technique? Lastly, as you look around at others, “don’t judge a piano player by the way they play try to understand how they learned to play. “
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
1. When we first started dating, at times it felt tortuous to go through the newness of the relationship. The first time holding hands, the first kiss, the first fight and many other first were not as exciting as you now may remember them to be. At the time we just wanted everything to be perfect and were in a hurry to get to a certain level of comfort not realizing that it was the discomfort that was exiciting and fun. Now looking back, although they were not the easiest times, those were some of the best times of the relationship
2. When we buy a new home, we want it to be perfect the day we move in but in most cases cannot afford to do all the work at once. We slowly but surely begin to add furnishing, remodel, paint and do many other things to get it just the way we want it. We hurry to get it all done so it can be “perfect”. Once everything is “perfect”, a lot of people will chose to move or change styles and start all over again. If it was the journey that was going to fulfill them, why is it that once they get there they want change again? No matter what, they will always look back fondly and with admiration on all the work they had done (The Journey).
Like these two examples, there are many more I could give. The idea is that every day is the journey and the final destination is when it is all over. Slow down, smell the roses and enjoy the journey. Realize that even the very things you may be complaining about today will be missed and laughed about later.
If you can really get in this mind set, you can learn to enjoy even the worst of situations because you will have the ability to look at the present as if though you are looking at it from the future. That perspective will show things for what they truly are and bring you comfort.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
1. Said: “You always come home late from work”.
Heard: “You must be having fun or prefer being away”.
Message: “We love having you around and worry when you’re not here”.
2. Said: “I do everything around here and it would be nice to get some help”.
Heard: “ You are lazy and do nothing all day”.
Message: “Your interest, help and support, makes my workload easier to deal with”.
3. Said: “Mom/Dad, how come you always have to go to ________ with your friend".
Heard: “You’re a bad mom/dad and don’t deserve time for yourself”.
Message: “Sometimes I feel like you prefer being with your friends over me, can you reassure me that you love me and that I am important to you”.
4. Said: “I remember when we use to go to the park and throw Frisbee, that was fun”.
Heard: “I like reminiscing about going to the park and Frisbee throwing”.
Message: “I like spending time with you, can we do something together again”.
These are just a few examples, of some typical situations but every conversation is full of what is said, what is heard and what the real message trying to be conveyed is. Sometimes, even the person conveying the message, isn’t aware of what they are truly trying to convey becuase they get lost in fear and anger while trying to convey their message. In our conversations with people today, see if we can tell the difference between what people are saying and what their message is. I think you will find it to be extremely interesting, how easy it is to pick up on, if you take the time to “listen”.
Monday, July 19, 2010
My eldest daughter Elle was an excellent cheerleader and tumbler. From the age of 6, that was her “thing”. We traveled all over the country competing and wherever we went, she was identified as a cheerleader. Her senior year in high school she was the captain of her team and once again, a big part of her identity in school was this. Now, she is in college and her cheerleading days are behind her. Is “Elle” not Elle anymore? Is she less than she once was? Will everyone treat her differently? The obvious answer is a resounding no. We were all great bubble gum bubble blowers and bike riders as well as many other things during our lives, but if our success in doing those things meant as much today as we thought they did back then, all of us would be in trouble. The best way to have success doing the things we do today, is to not identify ourselves with them and just enjoy them for what they are. How well we do things for ourselves at particular stages of our lives, will not define who we are. It is how well and what we do for others throughout our lives that will truly define us.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Do you see a storm approaching or the skies clearing?
Do you see an eroding shore line or an endless beach?
Does the thought of traversing to the other side, tire you or excite you?
Are you overwhelmed by the challenging terrain or taken back by the beauty and variety of the landscape?
Are you disappointed with the lack of sunlight or satisfied with the absence of rain?
Is this a silent landscape with light sounds of calm oceans and distant rain, or is it filled with thunder and crashing waves?
Our perception can change how we feel about things which in turn, can change how we feel. When we learn how to have a glass empty way of looking at things, we can spiral into a negative spin that can eventually lead to depression. What is hard to realize is that it is all based on how we look at things. The picture above illustrates how so many different feelings and perception can come from the same thing. Someone who has a “glass full” kind of mentality, can tell you the wonders of this picture while others may not. How is it possible to have two different descriptions of the same thing? The only plausible answer is that there are two different perceptions. From the moment we open our eyes every morning we are bombarded with a constant slideshow of pictures. In nanoseconds we form perceptions of what we are seeing. We have it within ourselves to decide what direction we want to take with our perceptions and in turn where they will take us. Reality will never change but our perception of reality can. Change your perception and watch how an incredible world with everything in it, will unfold for you.
Friday, July 16, 2010
74 year old man who is obviously using it.