Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I Hear You Loud But Not Clear
1. Said: “You always come home late from work”.
Heard: “You must be having fun or prefer being away”.
Message: “We love having you around and worry when you’re not here”.
2. Said: “I do everything around here and it would be nice to get some help”.
Heard: “ You are lazy and do nothing all day”.
Message: “Your interest, help and support, makes my workload easier to deal with”.
3. Said: “Mom/Dad, how come you always have to go to ________ with your friend".
Heard: “You’re a bad mom/dad and don’t deserve time for yourself”.
Message: “Sometimes I feel like you prefer being with your friends over me, can you reassure me that you love me and that I am important to you”.
4. Said: “I remember when we use to go to the park and throw Frisbee, that was fun”.
Heard: “I like reminiscing about going to the park and Frisbee throwing”.
Message: “I like spending time with you, can we do something together again”.
These are just a few examples, of some typical situations but every conversation is full of what is said, what is heard and what the real message trying to be conveyed is. Sometimes, even the person conveying the message, isn’t aware of what they are truly trying to convey becuase they get lost in fear and anger while trying to convey their message. In our conversations with people today, see if we can tell the difference between what people are saying and what their message is. I think you will find it to be extremely interesting, how easy it is to pick up on, if you take the time to “listen”.