Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What do you really want?

You hear a lot of people say, “I really want ……….
To be rich
To lose weight
To be a better ……..
To have a better relationship with ………
Do they really mean what they say?
One day while playing golf with a friend of mine, I expressed to them my desire to, just like them, be rich, have a nice car and a golf membership at the Doral. All things this person currently had. He looked at me and said, “If you really wanted those things, you would have them, but you don’t really want them. You see me here today, with my car and membership and you think how nice it would be to have them, but you don’t really want to do what’s required to have those things.” Of course I was set back, how could he think that I wouldn’t want to be rich and have all those things. He continued, “I have known you for a short time but you are an extremely talented guy, if you wanted these things, you would have them and more.” He went on to tell me that my life and the things I had, were exactly what I wanted. After a little soul searching, I realized he was 100% right. I had everything I really wanted. Once I realized this, it made the things I didn’t have, easier to accept. From that day forward, every time I get an urge or even a little envious, I ask myself the following:
Do you really want this?
Are you willing to do what’s necessary to get it?
What can you do today to start to achieve it?
As time has passed, I have realized that not all the things I think I want, I want and the ones I do, I work hard for.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Fear of Failure?

People are always talking about the fear of failure. After further review, I think it’s better described as, the fear of rejection. What I mean by this is that our fear to try something, is more driven by the fact that we will be rejected by others, than the fact that we will fail at what it is we are attempting to do.
Take for example, the ring toss at an amusement park. Everyone loves to try this. We throw ring after ring at the top of bottles, hoping that miraculously one will fall in place. Knowing that we will most likely fail, most of us, have little reservations trying this,why? Well, therein lies the answer. The fact that everyone will most likely fail, is accepted and because of this, there is no fear of rejection associated. On the other hand, ask someone to take a shot at a standard basketball hoop, in front of a large group of people and you will see how the fear factor increases. This again, is because of the fact that this task, may be more readily accomplished.
OK, so what’s my point? My point is, if we recognize that the fear of rejection is what drives us, then it is easier to attack the things we fear to do. We know that ultimately we cannot please everyone and that we are all born with different talents and skills, so why not just go for it. We also know that the people who really care about us, care about us regardless of whether we fail or succeed at an individual task. Lastly, we must realize, that our chances of success have a direct correlation with how hard we have worked or practiced. We should only judge our failure or success, using those guidelines.

So the answer to your question is, Go for it! Don’t be hard on yourself if you fail and if you want to succeed, put the work needed into winning.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Farmer's Boys

Two young boys are born on separate farms, to separate fathers. From the day he turned five, the first boy’s father would wake him at 5:00AM and take the boy with him to begin the daily chores around the farm. As he grew, the boy would learn to do everything from milk the cows, to tend to the crops. Between school and his responsibilities on the farm, the boy went to bed exhausted every night. Many of the town people said the father worked the boy too hard and was not allowing him to be a child.
On the other side of town, the second boy had a different lifestyle. His father swore never to make his child work the long, hard hours, he had as a boy. His father would wake every morning, see his son sleeping and smile as he left him to rest. He would work in the fields and tend to the farm all day, while his son played and went to school. The father was happy and felt pride in the life he was giving his son.
As fate would have it, on the boys' eighteenth birthday, their fathers both died

The first boy was devastated. He mourned the death of the man who had taught him everything he knew. He continued to tend to the farm and thought of his father everyday while doing so. His life, although never to be the same, continued on.
The second boy was overwhelmed with life. His father who had done so much for him, was gone. The farm would surely fall into ruin, since he had no idea how to take care of it. After a few weeks, he fell into a state of depression. Although he wanted to honor his father by keeping the farm, he was forced to sell it. How could he face the world alone?

Our children need us to help them learn, not to do everything for them. If you knew you wouldn’t be here for them on their eighteenth birthday, what would you do differently?

Friday, December 26, 2008

Focus your efforts

We always seem to spend so much effort chasing people, who don't necessarily respond to us. As teenagers, we chase the girl/boy who won't give us the time of day and ignore the ones who are dying for our attention. In that example, some might say it's about looks, but think back and you'll see that wasn't always the case. As we get older, the cycle continues with friends, co workers and peers. We want to understand why it is that someone or some group, doesn't accept us the way we are. We can spend our lives trying to change and conform to what we think they want us to be but it never seems to work. We can be frustrated and feel inferior, while we chase the acceptance of these people.

The great thing about life is it's variety: variety of food, flowers, sports, jobs, people, personalities, like and dislikes. We are all different for a reason. Not everyone has to like us and or agree with us. Don't waste your efforts and time, chasing the people that don't accept you for who you are. Open your eyes and look around. There are people chasing you, wanting and needing your approval, your affection. Give to those people. Stop doing for those people who never appreciate your efforts and wondering why they don't. It's not their fault for not being what you want them to be. It's your fault, for trying to change them or you, into something they or you, are not. Life is a lot "happier"and fulfilling when you're doing what you're suppose to do, with the ones you're suppose to be doing it with.

Hint: Your family loves for who you are and accepts you the way you are, even with your crazy karaoke voice.

Thursday, December 25, 2008


This morning I woke up and found all these things underneath my tree:

A house

A job



The best sisters and brothers

A great wife

Great Kids

A great Family

My Health

A GREAT LIFE !!!!!!!

What did you get??????

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Here’s a little acronym I came up with for what the word Give should mean. Gifting /Intentionally /Voiding /Expectations. Too many times I see people give, without letting go of the expectations they have for those gifts. The idea of giving should be that you just give unconditionally. There are two things primarily that are happening, when you G.I.V.E. One, you are performing a truly unselfish act. Two, you are turning over your rights to another person, allowing them to do what they want with that gift. More often, It seems that more tan often, the gifts we give, are given with conditions. Sometimes we are not even aware of the fact that there are conditions attached.
Here’s an example: Imagine you give someone a gift, to find out that an hour after, they re- wrapped it and gave it to someone else. How would you feel? If you G.A.V.E. it to them, it shouldn’t make a difference. What is the part of us that is bothered by this? Is it that we think they didn’t like it? Might we say something like,” I didn’t give it to them so they could just give it away?” To which you might ask, then why did you give it to them? What unknown conditions did you attach to your gift? That person might have forgotten to shop for someone and you gave them something they already had. Because of your gift, they were able to give to someone else. Isn’t that a great gift? It is if your gift is really serving the purpose of giving.
This Christmas think about whether you want to G.I.V.E. or give. You will be happy to know it’s a lot less stressful and much more rewarding to G.I.V.E.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Twas two nights before Christmas

Twas two nights before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, except for my spouse.

The last minute shopping had her pulling her hair,

In hopes that all presents, she needed were there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of shopping kept my wife on her meds.

And mamma in her hurry, while I took a nap,

I settled my brain, while hers started to snap.

When out of my brain there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to realize nothing else mattered.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a wondrous life , for all to revere.

With daily activity, so lively and quick,

A candles light burning, right down to the wick

More rapid than eagles life’s lessons they came,

We complained, and we shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Anger! now, Frustration! now, Depression and Pain!

On, Guilt! On, Anxiety! on, Resentment and Blame!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

"With life’s challenges before us, leave us wondering why

when we meet with an obstacle, we mount to the sky.

So take on life’s challenges, is what we should do,

All of life’s joys, and some sorrows too.

And then, in a twinkling, I found myself proof

all the bad from last year, disappeared in a poof.

As I cleared my head, a thought came with no sound

all good things in my life, were suddenly found.

My life was a great life, from its head to its feet,

And life’s clothes were not perfect but over all pretty neat.

A bundle of Joys life had flung in a sack,

My life was a good life, the more I looked back.

Life’s moments they twinkled! Life’s bumps could get harry!

Life wasn’t all roses, but overall it was merry!

I wasn’t quite sure, where life was planning to go,

But I knew his intentions, were as pure as the snow.

The bumps of this life, were lessons to learn,

Life had no free passes, this is something we’d earn

Life had a broad spectrum, of the good and the bad,

Life kept us all going, through the happy and sad!

Life was always reminding, it could be short like an elf,

A hard lesson remembered, unless affected myself!

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Life gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

Life spoke not a word, but just kept on giving,

And filled all our days, with purpose for living.

Laying me down, with a tweak of my nose,

Life gave me a smile and then he arose!

Life sprang up to say, to us all gave a whistle,

And away we all fly like the down of a thistle.

But I heard life exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-life!"

Monday, December 22, 2008

The reality of the meaning Christmas

Let me first start out by stating that the true meaning of Christmas ( the birth of Christ),has nothing to do with what I am about to write. That being said, what is the reality of what Christmas means to all of us? In other words, what and how will it impact every one of us? While pondering this, I could only come up with one negative. It’s going to cost us a considerable amount of money. In the world of pros vs cons that’s about the only con Christmas has going against it. I know some of you may want to throw in the crowded malls, but that’s like complaining about the casino, when the black jack tables are full. So now that we have the cons out of the way, let’s take a look at the pros. Most of this list of the pros, although not all, should apply to everyone.

We have time off from work and or school.
We spend time with family. (We laugh and tell stories)
We eat whatever we want. (Diets are on hold)
We drink whatever we want. (Some of us a little too much)
We may travel.
We have or go to parties.
We receive presents.
We give presents.
We decorate (I know some might say this could be on the con side)

Regardless of our religious beliefs, we are all affected by Christmas. For most of us, the only negative, will be the whole money issue. To lighten that load, think of it this way, you get what you pay for. Total up everything you will spend this Christmas and then imagine that you were writing a check in that amount, for all the items mentioned above. Just time off alone would be worth it. The most important thing now, is to get your monies worth. Spend every day appreciating your time off at home with your family. Enjoy the process of giving and receiving. Take notice of the change that occurs during the holidays. Not just to the scenery but to people. Don’t let another Christmas go by as just another Christmas. Open your eyes, be aware and make this Christmas, your most memorable.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Change the menu, Change the cliental

Have you ever noticed that the same people seem to always be popping up in our lives? Sometimes it’s physically the same people and other times it’s a different person physically, but the relationship is the same. So what's the explanation? Are these people following us around? The answer is really quite simple, it’s not them, it’s us. We create these relationships without even knowing it. We send out a message to everyone we encounter. The people who are attracted to the message, come to us and the ones who are not, don’t. We start and end all of these relationships the same way, regardless of the person on the other end.
Imagine you want to open a restaurant were all you serve is chicken. The smell of chicken pours out of your restaurant and into the streets. What customers do you think will come? The obvious answer is, people who like, or for whatever reason, need to eat chicken. You wouldn’t stand around wondering why you weren’t attracting customers, who liked burgers or fish, would you? If you wanted to attract a different clientele, you would have to change the menu.
Do you even know what’s on you’re menu? What are you serving daily to the world? Once you identify what you’re serving, is it what you want to be serving? If you want to change the relationships in your life, change the menu. If you don’t change the menu, don’t be surprised when the same people and circumstances keep showing up in your life.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Watch the language In front of the children

Our children are like little sponges. They suck up everything they see us do and say. Particularly, what we say and how we say it. It’s so important to be aware of every word spoken in their presence. Most people will associate this with bad language, but in this case I’m referring to how we verbalize our bad thinking. The bad thinking can get passed down from one generation to the next. One of my favorites is how we describe and talk about work.
Here are some of the typical things we might say in front of them:
“I had a long day at work today.”
“Work is a real *$*%^#$.”
“Some of us have to work for a living.”
“You think I like working?”

Some other indirect ways of describing work negatively:
“Your father has work tomorrow, so we can’t go.”
“I would take you, but I have work.”
“I missed your game because I had to work.”
"Leave me alone while I'm working."

We are all victims of a society where these types of comments to describe what one does for a living, are commonly used. Of course, the next generations will grow up saying the exact same things. Try to catch yourself doing this and stop. Try something different. When asked about your day, describe it for what it really is. Someone has entrusted you to solve problems and perform tasks, because they believe in you and your abilities. That sounds like something to be proud of. Think of this and then respond. My guess is your answer will come out differently. Don’t use work as an excuse for things. Take responsibility for your decisions and don’t blame work. I know plenty of people who have been out to the wee hours of the morning and the fact that they had work the next morning, didn’t deter them. If you can do this, you might end up with children who have a positive attitude, to the very thing that they will spend most of their lives doing.
If you still have your doubts about this one, then ask yourself why the same event can be such a different experience for different people. I have friends who describe going to Disney as torture and others who can't wait to take their families. It's the same event, so whats the difference?
The difference is only in their perception of the event and the story they tell themselves about it.
Watch your language when you describe school, it works the same way.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Balanced Scale

Imagine a scale. On one side are the good things in your life and on the other side, are the things you consider to be bad. After close inspection, you realize that your scale has tilted towards the bad. What do you need to do? The obvious answer would be to add weight to the other side to create balance. In fact, you might want to add all the weight you can and reverse things all together. If you stared at the scale for days, hoping for change to occur on its own, you would only become more frustrated with the situation. I would guess, you might even waste endless hours, wondering how the scale became so unbalanced. After a few days, you would most likely have a complete accounting for the perfect storm that led you to your current situation, accompanied with the list of people that are to blame. Unfortunately, the scale would still look exactly the same, only now, due to your wasted, negative thinking over the last few days, it would be tilted even more towards the bad side.
So how do you fix this it? Take action. Start adding weight to the other side in the form of positive action. Forget about how your scale got out of balance, that’s a waste of time. Don’t look at your neighbors scale for comparison, that’s another waste of time. Most importantly, don’t waste all your energy thinking about how much effort it’s going to take, to do what you need to do. Take action! No matter how little, just do something that can contribute to heading in the right direction and the rest will start to unfold on it’s own. The good things you do, like the bad, are compounding. It’s not easy to start, but if you pay attention, you will see the scale tilting ever so slightly back in the direction you want. Keep in mind, it will take just as much effort to bring the scale back, as it did to get it there. Notice I didn't say, just as much time, that’s because it’s relative to the effort you put into it.
If you pay attention to the results of your efforts, in no time you will notice the compounding effects.

“It’s never hard to do the things we do, it’s just hard getting started”

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

How can you write everyday?

Since the day I started writing my “Daily Dumbbells”, several people have asked me how I could find something to write about every day. They questioned whether or not I could keep up the pace of one a day (with the exception of weekends), for an entire year. I had never really thought about it. Once the thought was put into my head however, I started to do the math and immediately question myself. The answer was really quite simple; Everyday, I would have to find something positive in my life, that I felt I could learn from. I would have to focus my attention not only on myself, but on those around me and their positive experiences with life. Since my writings were to be positive in nature, I would be forced to take the simple everyday occurrences and see them for the gifts they really are. If I could do that, then coming up with things to write about would be easy.
Come to find out, it was this very thing that has made my life better as each day passes. I can’t tell you how many days, I have sat down to write, when I was not feeling particularly positive. I can tell you that I have always felt better after writing.
Find one thing that you consider positive about your life on a daily basis. Force yourself to find it, even when you don’t want to. By doing this daily you will see how the positive things you find, will bring you comfort and lesson the severity of the things you might be focusing on as negative.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Why can't everyone like me?

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but not everyone is going to like you. Sure, you can pretend you don’t care, but deep down, we all do. It doesn’t matter how hard you try or how good you are, there will still be those, that just don’t like you. You can take solace in knowing that some of the greatest people that have ever lived, had people that didn’t like them:

1.Mahatma Gandhi
2.Martin Luther King
3.George Washington
4.Princess Diana
Heck, even the Jonas Brothers!!!!!!

The great ones are focused. Their concern in what they are doing, as opposed to whether or not what they are doing is popular, is what makes them great. They believe so strongly in themselves, that others beliefs cannot deter them from their convictions.
Stay true to yourself and your beliefs. For every person that criticizes what you're doing, there are others out there, applauding your efforts. People and their opinions come and go, but you can never run away from your thoughts and actions. If you accept who you are and concern yourself with what you want to do, you will be one of the great ones.

Even God has those who were and continue to be, against him.

Friday, December 12, 2008

My life's harder than yours is

I find it interesting that when someone tells us that our life is easy, or not as hard as theirs, we feel the need to defend the difficulty of our lives. It’s almost as if though we were programmed to believe, that unless what we are doing is difficult, it’s of little value. Hence, the more difficult our lives, the more value we have. If someone says to you, “You have no idea how tough things are for me, I wish I had your life,” we feel defensive. We feel as though they are saying that we make little or no effort. We would want to immediately say something like, “Yeah, well my life’s no piece of cake either, you only think it is.” We also don’t want the other person to believe that they are somehow doing more and or are able to deal with more difficulty than us. It causes one person to feed off another, in a subconscious duel of proving whose life is more difficult. It creates a mental tug of war between trying to be happy and trying to prove to everyone how hard things are.
Whatever the reason, its CRAZY! I say, "let them win." What’s wrong with just letting go and saying, “Your right, I have a great life and it’s easy. If there’s anything I can do to help you with yours, let me know.” Yeah that’s right you heard me correct, "it’s easy." As you read this, I am sure some of you are saying, “Well it’s not easy,” What makes you say that? It’s as easy as you tell yourself it is.
I am starting a new competition to see who has the easiest life, winner takes the grand prize.
Grand Prize = an Easy life
2nd place = a difficult life
Last place = Pity (sometimes misunderstood to be the Grand Prize)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Eye of the Beholder

Last night was one of the best nights of my life:
1. My oldest daughter called me for my advice and help. Because of her age and independence, she rarely does that anymore. I enjoyed being needed.
2. I was informed that I was getting a new car. That’s exciting because I was getting tired of the one we had.
3. I was able to spend the entire night with my daughter (we told stories and laughed a lot).
4. I was able to spend some time with my wife and kids in a quiet environment and this rarely happens on a school night.
5. My daughter is a healthy, happy and a beautiful person. She is full of life

Last night was one of the worst nights of my life:
1. After a long day at work my daughter called me to inform me that she had crashed the car and needed me to go get her. “I just got home!”
2. When I got there, the car was totaled. “I just paid that car off!”
3. From there it was straight to the emergency room, to wait all night to be seen. "3 hours!"
4. My wife and kids were driving me crazy.
5. It turns out this whole thing is going to end up costing me thousands!

Yes, this is a true story. I took the first of the two paths. Last night turned out to be a great night for me and worth every penny. I am glad that my daughter was able to learn a valuable lesson, at such a small price. I was in good spirits throughout the night. Before going to bed, I thanked God for taking care of her and I slept like a baby. In the past, I would have chosen the second path and my week would have been miserable. I would have spun out of control taking every one around me with me. I would have made mental list of all the reasons why this was bad and unfair.

Life is in the eye of the beholder. Make sure when you look at it, you behold it’s gifts.

I love you Elle and your worth all the Expeditions on the planet.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Keep your eye on the Ball

Anyone who has ever played sports knows that one of the keys to success is keeping your eye on the ball. In baseball it can refer to hitting as well as catching. In soccer it’s just as important while kicking, as when receiving a pass. In football, you see receivers dropping easy passes because they look up field before completing the catch. Tennis, Golf, Polo, it really doesn’t matter the sport, if your eyes are distracted from the ball; your chance of success diminishes. In all the above, many different things can cause you to be distracted. Noise from the crowd, an oncoming tackler, getting ahead of yourself, or your peripheral vision, can all draw your focus away from that simple task, of keeping your eye on the ball.

What about in life? What’s the ball? The ball can represent many stages of our lives but on the grand scale, isn’t living, the ultimate ball? Isn’t what you’re doing at this very moment living? Do we take our eyes off the ball to look up field? Do we miss the ball when we do that? Are we distracted by the crowd? Do we freeze when we see the oncoming tackler? What do we see in our peripheral vision and can you see it clearly enough to identify it?
Stay focused; keep your eye on the ball, it is the key to living. Remember, if you take your eye off the ball (living), you will miss it all together.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

You make a difference

You do make a difference in people’s lives. You may not realize it, but each one of us has that power. It can be as simple as the way we greet one another, to as complicated as the advice we may give. Most of the time, you won’t have the benefit of knowing how you might have influenced someone, but you can bet that you do have the power to influence. “With great power comes great responsibility.” You don’t have to be a superhero for this to apply. Be careful with every word you say. Take responsibility of your actions. What you say and do, impacts everyone around you. Don’t believe me, than prove it to yourself by trying this exercise.
1. First three People: I want you to speak to them in a disgusted voice. Make sure everything that comes out of your mouth is negative and has a nasty tone to it. From the second you say hello, I want them to feel the disgust in your voice. If you are talking to them in person, I want your body language and facial expressions to show the same feelings that are coming out of your mouth.
a. Take notice in the reactions of the people you are speaking with. Notice their expressions prior to hearing you say your first words and as the conversation carries on. Realize that everything you’re saying to them is infecting them like a virus. Watch how their body language changes. By the time you finish with them, or they finish with you, realize the power of your influence.
i. (Notice the influence you have on yourself)
2. Next three People: I want you to speak to them as if though you had just won the lotto. Greet them with a huge smile and a loud voice. Tell them how happy you are, and how great they look. Talk to them about how great life is and how you’re so excited about the prospects of the New Year. Your body language and facial expressions should scream out, “I love my life.”
a. Notice how once again, the person changes throughout the conversation.
i. (Notice the influence you have on yourself)
This exercise, is a simple way to see how we each can influence one another. This kind of influence is just the tip of the iceberg. Our influence on one another is much more profound than the example above. Don’t underestimate the importance of what you say, or do to others. The next time you find yourself wondering whether anyone really notices or cares, rest assured we all notice and we all care.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Fake it until you make it

Sometimes, it’s just not easy to stay on the positive side of things. Sometimes you want to give up, thrown in the towel and be darn right negative. The more negative you’re thinking, the more negative you become. The only way you can get out of this downward spiral is to fake it, until you make it. Even if you don’t want to think positive, you have to. Even if you don’t necessarily believe in what you’re saying, pretend you do. Perception becomes reality. No one ever said it would be easy, but I can guarantee that it will be a lot easier than the results of continuing to be negative. Eventually, you will be positive again, that’s unless you plan on spending the rest of your life being miserable. Focus on the things that are going right in your life and get back on the right track.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Save the best for last, not forever

I was speaking with someone who had a book written and wanted to see if they could get it published. After many conversations and countless nights of proof reading, he felt it was ready. We determined that he should send it off to publishers to see what their response would be. The following week I asked him how many copies he had sent out and his answers were filled with excuses. After several weeks of prodding, I figured out the real problem. As long as he didn’t send it out, he would be safe from rejection. He could control the fear of failure by never trying. He would always be able to tell people about the great book he wrote. He would say, “I never sent it out to a publisher but I bet it would have been a best seller,” Many of us protect ourselves from the fear of failure at the cost of success. Save the best for last, but not forever.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Daily Dumbbells

Why the name “Daily Dumbbells?” About six months ago, I noticed my body changing and realized that it was time to go back to the gym. For me, this kind of a commitment would require going to the gym at least four times a week, for an hour a day. If I wanted to get into good shape and see immediate results, that’s what it was going to take. Unfortunately, I didn’t have this kind of time to dedicate to the gym, so I was forced to come up with an alternate plan. I decided to start doing pushups every morning. The idea was, that I would at least maintain some strength and hopefully build a little, as I increased my reps. It worked, I have continued to add reps and my strength has improved. My core is stronger than ever and the change although not drastic, is happening.
Your mental health works the same way. You need to work it out. Go to the gym, so to speak. If you wanted to fully commit, you would take courses, do some reading, meditate, etc… Doing those things would be a full commitment, the equivalent of going to the gym. You would see immediate results. Most of us don’t have this kind of time. I write my daily dumbbells for the same reason I doing my morning pushups. I write them daily to improve my mental well being. I hope that by reading them daily, it helps others do the same. It's obvious to everyone, that if you don’t work out your muscles, they will get smaller and weaker. So shouldn't it be obvious that if you don’t work out your mental muscle, the same will happen?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's all about you

“It’s all about you.”Most people hear this and immediately associate this way of thinking with being selfish. Somehow it means you’re not a caring person. Of course the reality is, that it has to be all about you. The foundation of everything that exists is you the individual. If you don’t exist, then nothing else does either, at least not to you. Right now as you read this, there are families all over the world waking up to do what they feel is the most important things in their lives and you don’t care one little bit about them. That’s the truth. The reason you don’t care isn’t any more complicated than the fact that it’s all about you. Since “you” are unaware of those families and they have no affect on “you “, “you” don’t care. Now if I told you, that a family in Japan selected you to inherit their millions, I guarantee that you would suddenly have great interest in them.
Ok, so what’s my point? Too many of us spend wasted time, pretending that this is not the truth. We fool ourselves into believing that we are such unselfish and giving people, when in reality this is not the complete truth. It’s not to say that we do not care about others and make sacrifices to help and or care for others. It is however important to recognize our true intentions, because it allows us to take responsibility of our actions. We do the things we do, because we want to do them. When we take responsibility we can change. When we assign blame we have to wait for others to change. When we say, “I did all this for that person and they……..,” we fool ourselves into believing that we played no part in what occurred. Take responsibility in what you do and say. Don’t spend your life blaming others and waiting for them to change. It’s ok to realize that it is all about you, at least to you it is.

If a tree falls in a forest does it make a sound.
If “you” hear it, it does.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

When in Rome

The saying goes, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." I think, I prefer to stay away from Rome.
When we are around people who like the same things we like, we feel good about ourselves. When we are doing the things we like to do, which typically we excel at, we feel good about who we are. In sharp contrast, when we are around a group of people who have different interest, we will question our own. It can and inevitably will, create doubt in our own beliefs. It's why the whole,"peer pressure" thing, works. A group of people telling you that what you are, or are not doing is wrong, can shake the very foundation of who you are. My solution, "When in Rome, RUN!!!!!!!!!" Or just stay away from foreign countries, they're overrated anyways.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Understanding Our Limitations

If you know how to play the piano, do you get mad at someone who can’t? If you are strong enough to take the lid off of a jar, do you get mad at someone, because they can’t? The answer to both of these should be a resounding, “no.” In fact, I would guess that in some cases maybe we feel a sense of pride that we are able to doing something that someone else cannot. Why then, do we get so upset at other limitations that people may have? Why can’t we understand that they just may not be capable of doing the things we are able to do and in turn, want them to do? Why can’t we understand that what comes so easily to us may not come to them at all? As in the example with the piano, they were never taught and therefore have no idea how to begin to play. In the example of the jar, there may be physical or mental limitations. Take pride in the abilities that you have been given. Don’t be so hard on others and their limitations. Understand that you yourself have limitations which you would not like to be judged on. Our expectations should come with the understanding of limitations and when they do; our relationships are more fulfilling.