Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Listen to Yourself

I notice that we talk to ourselves a lot but we don’t listen to what we say as much as we listen to how what we say, makes us feel. We might, in a moment of desperation say,” Nobody is ever going to do this for me; I am going to have to do it myself!” When we say this, we tend to focus more on how this makes us feel, as opposed to the truth in what we say. In this case, we may spend days in desperation and to a certain degree self pity, without any results. If we were to say the same thing focusing on what we say rather than how it makes us feel, it would produce results and in turn make us feel good.
I recently was speaking with someone who was upset about their relationship with a friend. They made a long list of reasons as to why they felt their friend was indeed, not their friend. Much of what they said started with, “If she was really my friend she would have ………” I let the person go on for a while so that they could let out their frustrations and as they came up for air I said, “ It sounds like you have it all figured out, you just have to listen to what you’re saying and stop focusing on the way it makes you feel.” They looked at me a little funny and I said, “You have been saying it all along, she’s not really your friend.” It’s not to say that every time we feel disappointed with a friendship or situation we should consider it over but in this case she had had many years of feeling this way.
We need to take a look at whether we are constantly trying to change the situation and or people to be what we want them to be. If we are, then we need to let our words guide us rather than our emotions. We hold the answers within us and if we just listen, we will experience greater success and fulfillment in doing so.

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