"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."People will hurt us throughout our lives. Some will hurt us without even knowing, while others will purposely set out to cause us pain but it is what is at the root of their actions that is more telling, then the actions themselves. When we are infants our minds are pure and even fear does not exist. It is only as we grow and are influenced by outside forces that we begin to fear and create a belief system. Each and every one of us is influenced differently and these influences can shape us into who we are as adults. As adults, many of the things we do and say are only reflections of what we have been taught by life and by others. Sometimes, what we do and say can hurt the ones around us. Although there are those people who exist that maliciously set out to hurt others, for the most part that is not the case. Most of the time, we are only trying to protect ourselves and what we believe in and unfortunately, along the way others get hurt. It is much easier to forgive when you learn not to take things personally. When you realize that what was done was really not done to you, but at you. In other words, what was done was a direct result of who that person is, not so much because of who you are. Once you can fully understand that, true forgiveness is more obtainable. So some people might say, “Why do I have to forgive anyway?” Most of us see forgiving as giving something to the other person, a form of weakness or just giving in to our position. The truth is forgiveness is for us, not for them. It allows us to let things go. It allows us to keep living our lives without resentment and hate in us. The hidden bonus in forgiving others is that subconsciously it allows us to forgive ourselves recognizing the humanity that we share with those who we have forgiven.