When we meet new people or groups, it can be very easy to pick up their mannerisms and ideas in a subconscious attempt to fit in. We can find ourselves agreeing to things that we normally wouldn’t have. We can find ourselves saying things that are not really us. It’s always difficult because you don’t want to come across as difficult but you don’t want to compromise who you are either. It can even be more difficult when you are outnumbered. The problem with not being yourself is that eventually the real you shows up. We can’t fight who we really are and cannot change the things about us that others don’t like. Despite any and every attempt we make to change reality, some will like us and others will dislike us. Imagine the level of frustration you can reach trying to please everyone and still having those who will disagree with you and dislike you. Trying to fit in is smart, changing who you are in an attempt to fit in, is a formula for disaster. “Oh yeah by the way”, some of us think you’re a great person and look up to you, and others of us think you’re not and don’t but the only opinion that really matters is what you think.
6 comments:
I agree with your thinking. The challenge is developing skills that allow you to relate to others while not giving up your own identity
Very well put, I could use a co-writer like you
I was just talking about this today. We need to make a habit of accepting others as well as ourselves for who each of us really is. This of course is easier said than done.
Diana
If we learn to accept ourselves it becomes much easier to accept others. Everything starts with ourselves.
Another hard one Alex. I'm ok with people disagreeing with me (I actually think I THRIVE on disagreeing and discussing back and forth), but when they attack me personally and act like or even tell me or someone else that they don't like me, it still affects how I feel about myself.
I try to go back then to who I am in the eyes of the Lord and in the eyes of my family, who love me despite the warts:) But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit that it stays with me forever.
Kiki,
i am not claiming that it is easy to do but ask yourself what would bring a person to attack me and the answer will give you peace. Some of us know how to defend ourselves better than others and some only know how to attack. But it all comes from our past and our own insecurities. I once said, " you would argue your height with someone. No matter what they did or said you would find the conversation silly. The only difference is that we are not so sure about the other things in our lives so the insecurities of both parties creates anger and hate. There is only one thing to be sure of, "We are sure of nothing"
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