The saying should be “Misery loves comforting.” First take a look at what it is, that a particular person is miserable about. Most of the time, you will find that our misery comes from a feeling of experiencing something alone. Typically something we are not proud of. We feel that we are different from everyone else in our state of misery. We may view the situations of others as being normal and ours as being abnormal. In a subconscious effort to feel more normal, we look for company. We look for someone or some group, to share our feelings with. It’s not that we want others to be miserable with us but that seeing others in the same position makes us feel accompanied and in turn comforted. What we need to realize is that the company, only brings temporary relief. Our own compass tells us whether or not we are satisfied with what we are doing. Until our behavior reflects what we know to be right, being surrounded by all the people in the world will not help us feel better. Remember, ultimately we must be able to live with ourselves and our decisions.
3 comments:
Well said and very true!
I think of misery and depression as our biological response to a need for adjustment. Just as we get headaches or a runny nose when we get sick. When we feel depressed, it means that our priorities are out of whack.
So I would also implore someone who is feeling these emotions to look within themselves and find what is truly important to you. (For those who need help with this, meditation is a good place to start.)
I should mention that this isn't true for everybody. But I believe it applies to a large majority.
I like what you have written and couldn't agree more.
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