Monday, October 19, 2009

Know It All

There may be a misconception out there that I write these Daily Dumbbells because I think I have all the answers or my life is somehow perfect. Let me clear the air, it couldn’t be further from the truth. I write them because I myself am constantly looking for the answers and because my life is far from perfect. I question on a daily basis whether the things I do, make a difference in the lives of others. I question whether what I am doing is right or wrong. I am in a constant struggle to figure out how to balance my wants and needs with the needs of others. I struggle to not be selfish and at the same time not lose my identity by only focusing on others. I try to be open to others and their opinions. I work on not being set in my ways. I wonder if others feel the same things I do and hope to find comfort in the comments I receive from them. I thought that by forcing myself to write about these things daily, I could create some clarity for myself and hopefully others. Most importantly, I wanted my children to read them later and understand my thoughts. I wanted them to understand that we all have our doubts and struggles. I wanted them to realize that having these thoughts is not as important as what we do to change our thinking.

What I am sure of is that sitting around hoping that things will change on their own, is a complete waste of time and is irresponsible behavior on my behalf. I also know that blaming others will only force me to wait for them to change, while taking responsibility will empower me to make changes. I know that if I communicate my thoughts, it creates discussion and discussion can bring about change.

Lastly, there are many days where the last thing I want to do is write something inspirational while I sit frustrated but what I have found is that by forcing myself to write them, I feel better. It’s not a cure but it does bring some relief. It forces me to work on a solution and to not dwell in the misery or self pity. My hope is that my Daily Dumbbells are always well received and can bring about some change not only in my life but in the lives of those who read them.


Kiki said...

Nope, no misconceptions here:)

I appreciate your musings and I have found myself taking many of them to heart to try to make changes in myself and in my life. There are times that I choose not to make the changes but I can no longer claim to be ignorant of the changes that need to be made.

Keep up the good work! I am sure your children will love having these to look back on and share with their children and grandchildren.

Mary said...

I've never for a second thought - "Gee, Alex is so full of himself." On the contrary - I really enjoy reading the Daily Dumbbells and sometimes feel like it's the best way we keep in touch. Thank you and as Kiki said: Keep up the good work!