To get physically fit you need to exercise daily. Just the same, to get mentally fit, you need to work your mind everday. These writings are meant to be read daily to serve that purpose.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Where the Answer Lies
Example: If you have that one person at work that really annoys you and you just can’t seem to get away from them, ask yourself:
What is it about this person that causes me discomfort as a person?
Is there a insecurity in me that this person irritates or brings to the surface?
What message have I sent or am I sending, to that person on a daily basis?
What have I done to try to try to improve the relationship?
Assuming that the person is just a miserable person, have I tried to understand why?
Do I believe that contrary to the rest of the world this person does not want to be liked?
Do I challenge myself to break through and become that persons friend?
If we sit around waiting for others to change, we take the control out of our hands, if we take responsibility and therefore assume action, we take control of our lives.
My dad use to say that anyone could sail a ship but it took a captain to sail through rough seas. I have told my kids anyone can get good grades with an easy teacher but it takes a real student to get good grades with a bad teacher that you don’t like. The people that we meet in our lives will define our character and it won’t be the ones we like.
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Asking too many people for advice is confusing. You get mixed messages. And most of the time people give a one sided account of the story to get a certain reaction or answer. Definitely going with your own "compass" and being honest with yourself is the way to go.
This could have almost been 2 separate posts. I loved it. To REALLY simplify in a simple example: I think of times when I can't decide what to eat for dinner, so I start asking for suggestions. But ultimately I end up going with what I wanted all along! : ) Sometimes it just takes other people suggesting the opposite of what you really want to make you realize that you've already made up your mind.
This one is painful for me right now. I can pretty much get along with anyone. I actually go out of my way (especially at work) to befriend the one's that I feel rejection from and have formed some lifelong deep relationships with them. When I find someone that seems to just reject me over and over or to treat me badly repeatedly and I CAN'T find a solution and none of my efforts seem to work, I get really down on myself. Going through some of that right now and no amount of logic is working for me. Gonna have to keep working at this.
On a more positive side, some of the hardest and seemingly heartless teachers I've had were the ones that challenged me and helped me to improve and grow as a student.
Mary, the same thing happens to me with dinner...I'm pretty sure it's my spirit of contradiction at work there:)
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