Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Communication of the Third Kind
The third kind of communication I refer to as “Behavioral Communication”. Starting at birth we are deprived of the first two forms of communication and therefore become dependent on using the third, “Behavioral Communication”. We learn that by changing our behavior we can communicate with those around us. Crying would be the first form of behavioral communication. It doesn’t take long before we learn that when we cry we get attention. We rely on behavioral communication for quite some time and our parents teach us what works and what doesn’t work, through their responses. From there, the natural progression would be that physical communication would be introduced to alleviate the frustration that can occur when only behavioral communication exists. We begin to point and make motions with all of our extremities to communicate. Within a short period of time, language is introduced and things become much easier for everyone.
So what’s the point?
Many of us overlook the behavior language that still exists between all of us as adults. We continue to reward the same type of behaviors that we don’t want in our lives. We respond behaviorally to language and sometimes communicate only through language instead of speaking behaviorally. In other words you wouldn’t answer someone in Japanese, if they spoke to you in English. If you want to change someone’s behavior you need to change your response to that behavior. Talking to them about it and how it may hurt you won’t work (Japanese). What is overlooked is that your behavioral response to their behavior, is talking to them in a very primal way. Some might say that it sounds reactionary or vengeful but it’s not anything more than another form of communication.