Monday, March 2, 2009

"Hey, How are You?

How many times a day, do we ask something like this? How many times do we recognize what we are asking, and really care about the response? Sometimes I am asked this question and before the other person has even heard the answer, they are beginning a new conversation. What message do you send to someone when you ask a question and don’t even take interest in the response? In the old days, as a result of transportation and the distances traveled, people would go days, weeks even months without seeing each other. When they finally were able to see one another they would ask something like, “Hey, how are you.” When they asked this, they meant it. They waited for a response and took interest. Today we see each other much more frequently and as a result, the question is less meaningful. If you’re going to ask the question, then mean it. If not, then try something different. Maybe one of these:
“Good morning”
“Hey, nice to see you again”
Maybe ask them about an interest they have. Something you know they were involved in from the last time you saw them. “How was your son’s baseball practice last night?”
Whatever it is you decide to say or ask, listen to yourself when you say or ask it, and mean it. If you don’t care about the answer, then you’re better off just saying hello.


Kiki said...

This is definitely a pet peeve of personal favorite (NOT!) is when they ask "How are you doing?" and before you can say a word, they say "Fine?"...making me want to say, "No, not fine, my mom just died!" Just to see them feeling horrible for asking:) I know, it's a mean streak I have.

Jenny B said...

LOL. Aye, mom! I was going to say, I hate this too, but I find myself doing it sometimes. These are good suggestions!