Losing Focus

The hardest part about staying the course is not being distracted by the things around you along the way. I must admit that this recently happened to me. One morning about a month ago, I woke up and had lost it. As clear as everything had been to me, the very things that I wrote daily in my Daily Dumbbells, had slipped away. I found myself angry and resentful. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was write another Daily Dumbbell. I woke up every morning trying to figure out what had gone wrong, what had changed so quickly and distracted me from the positive and happy life, I had obviously been taking for granted. It took a while but one day recently, the answer showed itself. During all the time I had been doing so well, my focus had been on others. I was living as best as I could, a life of service. I focused on what I could do for others and how I could make a difference in their lives. Somewhere, that changed and I began to focus on me. I asked “what about me, what about my fun, my life and who really cares about helping me”? It was all downhill from that point forward. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t write and I found myself upset with almost everyone. Someone recently came to me out of the blue and thanked me for something I thought had gone unnoticed. They reminded me of where my happiness came from and gave me renewed focus. My ego/self had come into the picture months ago and distracted me from what truly brought me my happiness and once it grabbed a hold of the wheel it wasn’t letting go.

When you live your life worrying about “me” you will find plenty to be offended about and your life will seem lonely and empty. When you live your life giving to others, you will find plenty to fill your life with and that will bring you happiness.

So I am officially at the wheel again and refocused. Daily Dumbbells will be back on track starting Monday. Next time I lose focus slap me around and remind me of where true happiness lies.

Effective = Selective

The other day I was talking to my 8yr old nephew about cursing. I told him that although cursing is a part of our language, for the most part it is supposed to be used to show emphasis. Unfortunately, there are many of us who seem to have forgotten this and throw out curse words by the minute. I went on to explain that if he wanted to keep the power within the words, he should only use them in extreme cases. He would want people to take notice as if in shock when he cursed. Then he would truly hold the power within his words. Like curse words all of our actions hold power within them. Anything you do too much of, eventually loses its effectiveness. We all know people who constantly cry wolf and no one pays attention to. Then there is the person who always flies off the handle, we all just shrugs our shoulders and say, “there he goes again.” Like those two examples there are many more. It really doesn’t matter what it is, if you want to be effective, be selective.

Lie for a Lie and a Truth for a truth

You want what we all want, to be treated fairly with respect. You want to not be lied to and to not be taken advantage of. You want to be appreciated for your efforts and given a fair chance. You want people to accept you for who you are and understand your faults. It all starts with you. You want, so therefore You must lead by example. Some people say bad karma, or what comes around goes around, I say, “A Lie for a Lie and a Truth for a truth.” You want respect, give it to others. You want to hear the truth then tell the truth. You want to be appreciated and not be taken for granted then appreciate those you take for granted. You want acceptance and forgiveness, then give it to others. It all starts with you. Instead we live in a world where lies perpetuate more lies, where the list of things and people we take for granted, grows daily. We live in a world where we spend more time talking about the bad things that people do than the good things and then spend our days complaining about the very same things. We take a defensive posture of do on to others before they do it to you and it spins out of control causing mistrust. Tell a lie and expect one in return, take someone for granted and expect to be taken for granted, it’s that simple and the list goes on. “A lie for a Lie and A Truth for a Truth.”

Cirle of Life

My brother sent me this the other day and I felt it  fit in well with my writings.

Every morning on the plains of Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the lion, or it will not survive. Every morning, a lion wakes up and it knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. So it doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle; when the morning comes, you better hit the ground running.

This is an excellent portrayal of the reality of our lives. The balance (or circle) of life shows no bias. It does not know a nice/good gazelle from a bad one, it only knows that there must be continuation of life. The less gifted, must work harder than the gifted to survive and the gifted will parish, if they take for granted what has been given to them. If you want to continue living you must fight everyday for what you have achieved as well as for what you strive to achieve.

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round


It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle


The Circle of Life

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

One of the things I have noticed is that the true purpose or point of many of the things we do get lost in the process of doing them. For example, something as simple as a women’s haircut can become overly involved. I assume we all go in to get our hair cuts with one purpose, looking good. Somehow along the way, it becomes about with who and where. Then it continues to become more involved by what you will wear to get this haircut. Once you arrive, there may be espressos accompanied by finger foods and idle chatter. Three hours later you’re walking out feeling like a goddess or crying and wondering why you ever let these barbarians touch your perfect head. The reality is that no matter how great of a job they do, two days later your back to running around doing the everyday things and your hair is the least of your worries. Of course, I am a huge advocate of enjoying the process, which is my point. Many of us turn a simple task (haircut) into a complicated process (trip to the salon)and then don’t enjoy the process while it is taking place.

So maybe the trip to the salon isn’t the most universal example but we all have simple task that we over complicate and then complain or don’t enjoy the very process we created. No matter what it is you set out to do, take a look at what the real purpose is and then see if you are overcomplicating the process. If you are, then ask why and if it is for other reasons (like a day of pampering) then enjoy your creation while it is taking place. I would suggest that in many cases we overcomplicate things for all the wrong reasons and create our own frustrations. It’s getting caught up in the rat race or the blinding of our vanity that can make us lose sight of the purpose.

It’s really quite simple, if you want a simple life, keep things simple and a simple life you will have.