Believe?

Aren’t we better off believing we can change things, than allowing other things to have control of our lives? I recently had a conversation with someone regarding Alzheimer’s. During the conversation I mentioned that if we have concerns about getting Alzheimer’s, we should work every day to keep our minds sharp. I went on to say that our minds our like our muscles - the more we neglect them, the sooner they will weaken. After going on about it for a few minutes, I got a disapproving look followed by the comment that Alzheimer’s is hereditary and there is nothing we can do about it.


Regardless of whether this is a true statement or not, do we want to live our lives this way? Isn’t it better to believe that we can change the things in our lives, than to believe we have no control? Isn’t it better to believe that we can keep our minds sharp by reading daily, doing Suduko puzzles, working, or anything else we can think of doing? Isn’t that better than believing it is all completely out of our control? I mean if you have ever heard about the placebo effect, you know that our mind is capable of doing just about anything that we believe it can do. The point isn’t whether or not we do or do not have the ability to change things but whether or not it is better to believe we can. Once we stop believing we can, we lose hope and with loss of any hope, we lose our will. I believe I can cure my own back problems, prevent Alzheimer’s, fend off potential colds, and anything else that may come my way. When I believe that it is possible, I look for things that I can start doing to help these things happen and I work hard at them. Most of all, I believe that believing empowers me and makes for a much happier life. By doing so, the worst thing that could happen is that I end up with these ailments anyway but had a great time believing I could overcome them. On the other hand, if I give into them now, the battle is already over and I succumb to the inevitable. Which one sounds like something we should do?

What is Bad? (2)

What is good versus what is bad, is usually determined by how we think we will be ultimately affected by what is happening. If we really looked in depth, we would realize that most of what we determine to be bad, is created in our own minds. The only way we could possibly determine whether something is bad, would be if we could foresee the end results. Since this is impossible, we create a future world in which we determine how the event will negatively impact our lives. Based on this imaginary future we make a determination as to whether the event is good or bad.
A very simple example can be illustrated through sports. When the Miami Heat pulled off one of the biggest trades in the history of the NBA, it was a great thing and people in Miami were elated. However if you lived in Clevland, it was betrayal and the end of your franchise. The people in Clevland were were insanely upset. Oh yeah, and the rest of the country had mixed emotions. Based on how each group thought they would be affected, they determined whether the event was a “good thing” or a “bad thing.” The reality is that not even one single game has been played yet. No one really knows what any of it means. We can have our ideas but nothing has really happened yet. It may be the best thing that ever happened to Clevland and the worst thing that ever happened to Miami.
So how can one event be a good thing, a bad thing, or “no thing” all at once? The answer is that it can’t. It is just an event, neither good nor bad, just an event. That example is simple but powerful because so many people can have their entire mood change and their lives affected from the results of one sporting event. Life is too important and short to be affected by something so trivial.

Here’s a more powerful example: My dad died when I was thirteen and that was a bad thing that happened to me and my family. Or was it? Originally I perceived this to be the most horrific thing that could have happened to me. I spent many nights asking God why he would do this to me. It is only now that I realize that with my father’s death, many great things have happened in my life. My wife, my children and the way I look at life, are all direct results of his death. In short, I am who I am today, because of his death, not inspite of it. I am not suggesting that everything that happens will feel good. I am only suggesting that if you look back at your life, many of the things that you thought to be so horrible at the time, turned out to be good things. In the end when we look back with the benefit of knowing the conclusion, everything will be good.

Lottery (2)

Too many times I hear people say, " If I could just win the Lotto everything would be different." Of course I can understand the financial freedom, however temporary, that might come from such an event but how would this make someone change their feelings towards themselves? What would they be so proud of ? That they were able to pick random numbers. Give a monkey some darts and he can do the same. Once we bought everything we think we needed and gave to those who we thought were deserving, then what? Would we feel pride, or perhaps some sense of fulfillment? We should take pride in the fact that we make it through our lives without winning the Lotto. We provide for our families and give to others when it is not so easy to do so. When times are difficult we have the perseverance to continue forward. Giving what comes without sacrifice and what you have in great abundance is easy. Giving what we have worked hard for and is scarce, is what will be appreciated the most and fulfill us in the end.

We are all lottery winners in one way or the other. Whether its the health lotto, family lotto, brains lotto, good job lotto or any of the many others, I am sure when we look at the gifts we have in our lives, we can find our own personal lotto win. If the $1 million dollar lotto winner spends his days worrying about why he didn't win the power ball for $136 million, he will always be disappointed and feel cheated. We should be thankful for the things we have been given and not worry about the things we think we "should have" received. When we let go and fully trust that what is, is what should be, the world opens up to us and everything comes in abundance. When we try to force and fight against what is, we only tire and make it more difficult and break things along the way.

Traffic Again?

With school back in session, the roads have once again become disgustingly crowded. The time to get to work in the mornings has almost doubled and the near misses while jockeying for positions are increasing by the day. It’s a hostile environment out there and on top of that the anxiety level for everyone has escalated as we rush to make it on time to our destinations. Of course this is a fabulous way to start your day. By the time you get to where you’re going, you’re so jacked up that the smallest misfortune can seem like the end of the world. It can take us hours to come down from this heightened state of anxiety. Needless to say, none of the screaming, honking or worrying has any effect on the traffic. In fact, it’s the equivalent of staring at a clock to make time go by faster. The only thing that makes time go by faster is to distract yourself away from the clock on to something else.

It goes without saying that leaving early is the best way to avoid all of this but regardless, there will still be traffic and you will still find yourself doing the same morning commute every day. So here are a few things you might do instead of “staring at the clock”:

1. Get a book on CD.
2. Listen to some motivational CD’s.
3. Learn a new language.
4. Talk to your children about the things you never have time to talk about.
5. Call 5 people you think you should talk to once a week
6. Go through the things that you should be thankful for that day or week

I know I am not the only one who has ever asked for peace and quiet. Well there it is, every morning as we drive through traffic. Make good use of it and it will be over in a minute or if you prefer, keeping staring at the clock in the hopes you will make it tick faster.