Friday, September 3, 2010

Mailbox Misery

Isn’t it torturous to receive a letter in the mail regarding something you disagree with but by the time you read it you realize there is nothing you can do until the next day or sometimes until Monday? Throughout my life I have received many letters and or phone calls like this. I always seemed to get them late Friday afternoon (just before the weekend) and whatever the issue was, it could not be addressed until Monday morning. I would torture myself the entire weekend. I’d run through why it was wrong and what I was going to say, reliving the moment throughout the entire weekend. Needless to say, I completely ruined my weekend and affected those around me. Now as I sit here writing this, I can only tell you that the letters usually came from the mortgage company , community management, school, utilities, insurance companies, or some lawyer letter (those were always scary). For the most part, I cant give you the details of what the letters were about and I definitely can’t tell you when I got them or how many. Whatever they were about and however life impacting they felt at the time, they all got resolved and are nothing but a faded memory now. Unfortunately what I can’t have back, are those weekends I wasted in anger or the examples I showed others on how to cope with such issues. So what was it that drove me so crazy that I felt the need to resolve the problem right then and what has changed now? The answer is, was and will always be, fear. Fear can drive us to do some really crazy things. We will act out in desperation just to bring closure and eliminate the fear. When we are forced to wait, it gives us a feeling of loss of control. The fear that they will take your house, assess you with penalties, turn off your power, raise your premium or prosecute you, can be paralyzing. Now after many years, I have reached a point where I can let go of those fears. I understand that all these things are directly controlled by my actions. I realize that they will all be resolved in time and if that time is not now, to let it go and enjoy my weekend. I take responsibility for the issues I have created for myself and reflect on how I can do things differently so as not to find myself in the same situation again. I stop blaming others and focus on what part I might have played in what's happening. Lastly, and most importantly, I focus on today and ask myself what I am so afraid of that I am willing to give up my happiness for? What is so important that living my life must wait for?

2 comments:

Diana said...

We are your readers and we deserve to know what the details of those letters you received were and how many you got (just kidding!)

In reading your post I am reminded of the scripture in the bible that says " Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:34

When situations like the one you describe here have come upon me, I simply give it over to God in prayer.

Mary L. said...

I JUST had this conversation with someone yesterday. I asked them - are you really going to remember this "letter" 5 years from now? 1 year from now? Why are you letting it ruin your day today, if more than likely, it is going to be resolved tomorrow.

I wonder if you had the same conversation with the same person yesterday? lol I'm glad that you and I are on the same page.